Accidentally in Love // z.m

Twenty Two

"Where am I taking you Madame?" Miles asked but his voice seemed like it was miles away compared to the thousands screaming in my head. Every turn our vehicle made felt like I was on some wicked ride in which the aim was to make me throw up. I couldn't bring myself to answer his question, I could hardly hear him over the throbbing pain of the migraine I could feel growing. I kept my fingers at my temples, pressing hard and squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to ease the pain. Miles seemed to realise that as he stopped asking and just drove me towards my home but once we arrived in front of my apartment, about 45 minutes after I left Zayn & Perrie's wedding, I realised I dreaded the idea of being on my own right now, even if my current company is just a chauffeur. I wasn't crying anymore. I only spilled a few tears in the car ride but I was too exhausted to ball my eyes out after all the effort I put into holding them back. It was absolute chaos in my mind and I needed to somehow let all that crap out. I wanted to forget everything that just happened. I just admitted to Zayn I had feelings for him! How could I, after all these months of trying to move on and move forward I let it slip and now I'm entirely full of regret and embarrassment. My thoughts were stuck in some form of fucked up cycle, I would go from embarrassment and depression to realising it was stupid to keep torturing myself over my mistake to thinking about anything other than Zayn and then ultimately thinking about Zayn. It was no use, he was imprinted in my mind, there was only one way to get rid of him. "Miles, please take me to the nearest pub." I said, my voice hoarse. He nodded in the review mirror as I turned back to the window. I did feel guilty for turning to alcohol. It's against my religion and I've never even considered drinking before in my entire life but when I thought about the pain I was suffering I couldn't see myself getting through it without a distraction. "I need it." I told myself queity and shut out any contradicting thoughts. In a matter of minutes we arrived at a pub. I stepped out of the car just as I felt my phone vibrate in my hand, agreeing with myself to delete the text if it were from Zayn before turning it over. It was from Harry,

"Where are you?"

I had no idea where I was, nor did I know which pub this was or what to expect when I walked in. Miles agreed to wait for me outside, even though I'm sure it wasn't part of his duties for tonight.

"Where you'd least expect."

I texted him back before walking in. I shivered slightly, covering my bare arms with my hands and taking a look around once I'd entered. It wasn't very big and it was full of men, making me feel a little uncomfortable but I shrugged the feeling away. I came here with a purpose. There was a bench where the bartender stood on the left. Only about 6 stools were there, 3 empty. Across the bar was a lounge area, a pool table hidden in the shadows to the side and a few men sat on the sofa's jeering towards the large flat screen that played some live football game. It was all very gloomy and depressing, exactly how I felt. I walked straight towards the bar, sliding on the high stool at the end of the bench and crossing my legs. The bartender raised his eyebrows at me. "What's a pretty girl like you doin' in a bar like this, pumpkin?" He nodded towards me as he wipped down a glass. I realised I was much too over dressed to be in a bar, let alone a run down one like this.

"Don't ask questions and give me something strong." 

"What can you handle?" His questions were making me angry, how hard was it to get drunk!?

"I can handle what ever you give me." I said through gritted teeth giving him a glare. Fuck him for thinking I was some weak drunk. Not that I knew what type of drunk I would be, but I'd like to think I would be able to handle a heavy drink. The bartender pressed his lips together as he grabbed a bottle from the thousands that were placed behind him and poored it in a glass before sliding it to me.

"What is it?" I asked skeptically looking at the golden coloured liquid before me. 

"Scotch" He said as he crossed his arms.