Accidentally in Love // z.m

Eighteen

I was frozen, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to think. His eyes were repeatedly stabbing me in the heart as I watched them register what was happening. I couldn't breath, I was feeling dizzy, I wanted so badly to cntrl-z, undo, erase, restart. I pushed Rick off me, without taking my eyes of Zayn who's expression turned from shock to anger. "Zayn." Was all I could muster as I stumbled out of the elevator reaching for him however he moved back away from me, disgusted. 

 "Sorry for interrupting your busy schedule." He spat before glaring at Rick and walking towards the elevator.

"Zayn, please wait." I grabbed his hand in an attempt to stop him but he shook me off and turned around, his jaw clenched.

"I can't believe I actually felt guilty. I can't believe I actually felt sorry for you I can't believe I even-" He stopped himself, looking at me with distaste as he swallowed. "You're just another slut." His bitter words finished and I could hear the pity in his voice as he looked down upon me. The second he uttered those words, I could feel that thick lump rise in my throat. You're just another slut. I couldn't bring myself to speak as those words were repeated in my mind, stinging me every time. I clenched my hands into a fist, using every ounce of energy in me to stop me from breaking down right there. Staring at the floor as I couldn't look at him anymore and face the disappointment he had for me, I swallowed the lump back down, my breathing heavy in the process.

"Don't talk to her like that." Rick said from behind me and I had almost forgotten he was there, his voice seemed distant and blurry. Zayn simply looked him up and down before retreating into the elevator and disappearing. As soon as those silver doors shut was I overwhelmed with pain. The lump had somehow spiralled back up and my eyes began to water. I quickly wiped away the few tears that spilt before taking a deep breath and turning around to face Rick. "Sorry about that Rick." I said softly, afraid to look him in the eye incase he noticed any wetness.  

"It's not your fault. And don't listen to him, you don't even have a hint of slut about you." He said, his fingers gently brushing against my tear stained cheek. I gave him a small smile. "Do you want me to come inside?" He whispered and I shook my head no. 

"I'll be OK, I think you should head home. Thanks for a lovely night." I said and he gave me a warm hug before kissing my cheek and leaving. I sighed heavily as I walked into my apartment, shaking off my heals as I trudged to my bedroom. Pooka had already fallen asleep on my bed, on top of my PJ's so I took that as a sign to just collapse next to him and deal with everything in the morning. I slipped underneath the covers next to Pooka but after a few moments found my dress much too uncomfortable to sleep in. I took everything off, falling asleep in my underwear and hoping Pooka wouldn't mind my partial nuditiy. What ever I own him. 

I could feel a slight wetness on my cheek and neck. Turning over in an attempt to avoid it resulted in the exposure of the bewildering sunlight that erupted from my bedroom window, however when I moved back the wetness returned. Peeking one eye open I found Pooka's face directly above mine as he licked away at my face, trying to wake me up. "Stop, stop stop!" I moaned as I tried to push him away but he kept coming back. "Alright fine I'm up." I said, raising myself off the bed and walking towards the bathroom. I washed my face thoroughly and finally looked at my dreadful appearance. I barely cried last night and yet I still looked like absolute shit. I looked to my alarm clock from the doors of my ensuit and my eyes widened in panic. It was already 8:10 am and I had twenty minutes to get to work. I threw on a the first things I could find, a pair of jeans and a sweater, before grabbing my purse, an apple and my phone and sprinting out of the doorway leaving a barking Pooka. I felt guilty for abandoning him like that before Bec arrived but there was nothing else I could do. As I waited in the elevator I quickly texted her asking her if she could come in early and she was polite enough to do so. Relieved, I quickly jumped into my car, tying my hair in a sad attempt for a bun before speeding through London to get to work on time. I ran into my office, finding India at her desk and slightly stunned at my sudden appearance. I leant against my desk as I tried to catch my breath. "I'm.. here. Not... late." I gasped before collapsing on the floor in front of my desk and just giving up.