crossing the line | fillie oneshots

I need you like a heartbeat

The worst thing about this is that he never knows when it happens.

Until it really happens and he doesn't know what to do. And he is alone.

One thought, some distant memory and suddenly he can't breathe, his heart is pounding heavily in his chest and he feels like he could die at any moment. He can't think straight. His chest is too heavy and he's shaking so much that his whole body hurts.

'Oh no.'

And then he hears her. But he thinks it's a dream.

He feels pain, he feels so much pain and all he wants is to stop this, but he doesn't know how and...

'Hey, I'm here. It's okay.'

...and he can't see anything and every breath aches and...

'Finn. Breathe with me, okay? In and out.'

He knows that voice.

'Millie...' he was trying to say something more, but no words exited his lips.

He couldn't even recognize the sound of his voice.

'I'm here, Finn. I'm with you.' she said to let him know that she really was here. 'Inhale. Exhale. Great, Finn.' she continued, kneeling on the floor next to him, caressing his arms soothingly.

He released a shaky breath and she started to count.

'In.' she was breathing with him, counting to five. 'Out.'

A couple of minutes later he was calm, breathing evenly without her help. Soon, all he could feel was the warmth radiating from her body. He recognized her sweet scent, something like a vanilla and some flowers he couldn't name.

And he heard something. Some calming, rhythmical sound.

Everything was becoming clear around him, more and more with every passing minute.

He realized that he was sitting down on the floor in their trailer. That Millie was sitting there with him. That she wrapped her arms around him. That she was hugging him tightly like she would never want to let him go.

That she was running her fingers through his curls, caressing his scalp in little, soothing circles.

That their fingers were intertwined and he was holding her hand tightly, almost crushing her fingers.

That his head was resting on her chest.

That she was pressing her lips to his forehead.

That her chest was rising and falling against his face.

That this calm sound he was hearing... It was her heartbeat.

It was all he could hear right now.

His cheeks were wet from crying. And now she was wiping his tears away.

Soon, he realized that she was whispering something. On and on and on.

'I'm here. I got you, you're okay.' she whispered, burying her nose in his hair. Their fingers were still entwined.

'Mills...' he breathed her name like a prayer.

'I'm here.' she repeated soothingly.

They were half-lying on the floor, with her back against the couch. She had no idea how much time has passed since she walked into the trailer and found him.

After a while she decided to break the silence.

'You scared me.' she said softly into his hair, placing a little kiss on the top of his head. 

His eyes fluttered shut.

'And... I'm sorry, Finn.' she continued. 'I didn't know what to do. I found you here on the floor and you...' she trailed off with a cracked voice.

'You did great, Mills.' he said, his lips brushing on her T-shirt. 'I don't know what I would do without your help. You did great.'

'Really?' she asked. A hopeful smile appeared on her face.

'Yeah.'

He leaned back a little and forced himself to look at her.

Tears were falling slowly down her cheeks. One by one.

'I'm sorry I made you cry.' he said quietly. His voice was raspy.

'What?' she asked, raising her hand to her cheek. She didn't realize that she was crying with him. 'Oh. I was just... I was just scared. It's nothing.' she said, trying to smile to reassure him that she was okay.

She wasn't used to it. He had never had a panic attack around her.

He has always been stronger than her. She lost count how many times she cried in his arms.

Now it was the other way around.

He shifted a little in her arms. Their faces were so close, maybe a few inches away.

Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers softly, like a thank you, kissing her in the most delicate, loving way.

She hasn't realized how scared she was before. She hasn't realized how much she needed his reassurance. She hasn't realized until now that she had a painful spot in her chest that eased after each one of his kisses.

He pulled away from her slowly.

'Thank you.' he whispered, his warm breath grazing her lips. She kissed him softly in response.

He buried his face into the crook of her neck. If he could, he would have stayed here like that for eternity, listening to her heartbeat.

He hugged her, not being ready to let her go. And she knew what he meant as she hugged him even tighter.

Soon, he heard her soft voice.

It was quieter than a whisper.

'I'm here.'

...

A/N

I know I said that I'll stop to write such sweet stories, but I guess I couldn't resist. I love your comments so please tell me what you think!

I wanted to thank you for almost 9k reads of "crossing the line", you are amazing and I love you so so much!

a.