I felt like the chapter I did on young love wasn't enough. I also felt as though I didn't give enough insight into my intimate relationships and their impact on my life. I also needed a chapter to discuss other types of relationships. So here we go:
1.Mother love
My mom doesn't know I broke my virginity. But me going through what me and my mom had probably had the most discussions about made our relationship stronger.
Teenager girls and their moms tend to always crash heads. It's simply because we don't understand each other. They think we don't wanna listen and we keep telling ourselves that we grew up in different times & it's not the same.
I agreed with my mom on keeping my virginity till marriage, but I placed myself in a vulnerable position with someone that I knew wouldn't respect my boundaries or stop me in the process of me not thinking clearly, but once I did what I did, I didn't regret it.
I know me breaking my virginity is going to come back to haunt me. Right now I'm dating the person that broke my virginity, if we get married it will be the best thing ever, but it's not guaranteed. I won't even lie, he has provided the best two months thus far.But me understanding why my mom said no, knowing that she really does understand what I'm going through allows me to meet her half way.
Building a relationship with your mom is the best thing you can do for yourself and for your mom.
2.Father wound
This is the story of the dead beat dad, the absent father, the emotionally absent father. For fortunately, for only a smaller majority the present father.
Fathers have big roles to play in girls' lives and whether you feel or see the 'father wound' or not, chances are it's there.
I did a pageant last year, (Thank you Tumi) I'm really not the pageant type, but she tricked me into doing it.I am glad I did it because the pageant had an 8 week program, that was the basis that formed Inside Out. During this program there was a segment called 'the father wound'.
It made more than half the contestants, all teenage girls cry.Why? Because they hadn't cried and felt the hurt of their wound until it hurt. He discussed how some of us never grew up knowing a father, and we try ignore it or our mothers/guardians avoid the subject, this without realizing, leaves a big scar of why.
Some dads are there, but because they've been taught to act so tough, they find it difficult to play an emotional role in their daughters' lives, we often find that girls are close to their fathers when they're younger. But as they grow older into their teen years they draw more to their mothers, because teenagers need more emotional attention and fathers just can't handle it.
No I'm sure you're waiting to cry, that won't happen because I'm not the speakers and this is my take on the father wound.
How to heal the father wound is fairly simple, you should see how we looked at Neo when he said "Tell your dad that you have a wound."
Now we expected some 4.0 summary of it,but most of us tried it and it's really not that simple. I spoke to my dad and unlike the other girls in the pageant I didn't have a success story from the talk I had with my dad, and previously I was extremely angry, but once I understood that someone can't teach or give what they weren't taught.
Me and my dad don't really talk about his past or anything, but I had to accept and understand that he wasn't shown the necessary emotional love and that's why he can't show it. It really hurts at times and for the longest of time I hated my dad, but accepting that 'he is just a man whose only way to show love is to provide'
The father wound is different with every girl or guy. The trick is to know that forgiving them is mostly for you, loving them will eventually teach them love and sometimes all it takes is a talk, but this may or may not always be the case.
3.Brotherly love
For the longest of time most of my friends were guys and having this allowed me to realize the social differences between guys and girls. I got to a point where I preferred being around guys than girls, because damn us girls can be really difficult.
I got criticized for this a lot by girls, it was either I was classified a 'hoe' or a tom-girl.
The social differences were just too painful so I didn't really care.(And I tend to care a lot at times)I would have rather been called names than sit in a group of fake narcissistic girls who built themselves up by breaking their own friends.
By complimenting through comparison.
It made me feel like I had to reach a certain level to begin the group with guys I could be who I wanted to be and I didn't have to change upon being with different groups of guys.
Now I still have a lot of guy friends,every girl needs those,but when issues come and when puberty comes into play and a girl receives her glow up,it can be kind of hard,but guys are simple so literally we set boundaries,we keep it in the bro zone,you don't talk about whack girls while I'm there and they respect that.
Most of my guy friends hate reading,but they are reading (or scrolling)through this book.I appreciate you all even though you're all really trashy.(laughing face emoji),but one
the world's trash are my bro's.(insert four laughing cat emojis)
4.Sisterly love
Sisterly love is one of the most difficult we as teenage girls will have to deal with,it's one of the best,one of the worst and one of the hardest relationships you'll have to maintain.Chances are they'll influence almost every type of relationship you have and will have.
You know how we go to our girls about every little thing,when we're 'scouting' ,when we had a 'Netflix and chill session' with a particular boy,when we have a fight with our parents,we really do everything with our girlfriends.
But the lord knows they can test our patience,push our red buttons and let us down on days when we need the most.Now we need to realize that not every girl that crosses your path and says 'yasss ghel' is your girl.Only a selected few girls should be a part of your girlfriend group.
If people wanna walk out as girls we seriously need to learn to let them know.It took me long to learn that not everyone wants your help,not everyone needs to be your friend.I may have a contact list equivalent to the number of words written here,but I have less than 10 friends.
