"I love you,but I love her more"
"It's not you it's me"
"I can't do this anymore"
"I need to figure myself out"
"I feel like Ima cheat cause you won't give me sex,so Ima just be out"
"Let's leave it"
"I was wrong For you from the start
I didn't cheat intentionally
I hope you find someone better who will treat you like the queen that you are
I love you
I'm tired of hurting an innocent soul like you "
"We met too early."
"I don't feel like this relationship is working anymore and I won't even lie,I did cheat."
"I was lost when I asked you out"
"I like someone else."
"I don't wanna see you as a sex object.
It's heading there."
"You deserve more."
"You're to good for me."
"You weren't challenging enough"
If you can't relate to any of these 'breakup lines',I can't be sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing hopefully it's a good thing.
The emotional pain and stress of a break up is just too much even for guys,although girls tend to have the longest and hardest break up stories,not to say guys don't have theirs.
The emotional strain of a break up is most of the time too much for us as growing teenagers to deal with,which goes the same for dating,but we're gonna do it anyway...let's just be honest.
Some of my guy friends will argue that girls just like playing the victim.So before I continue this book is in no way to bash men and these break up stories are two sided at times,but this book is for girls therefore I'm just dealing with the break ups from a female perspective in order to help her deal with the emotional baggage that comes with heart breaks.
So here's my break up story,luckily I only have one.
I dated a friend that I quickly fell inlove with it was probably easy for the relationship to escalate,because I was broken and he was broken,but we met each other at a post of being able to show care and love that at the time we couldn't get from anyone else,he knew what I needed to hear and made sure to say them,I knew what he needed to hear and feel and I had helped him in the sense(I think),but two halves don't make a hole when it comes to brokenness.(Broken people break each other!!!!!!!!!!!)
Unfortunately for me in the long run he wasn't interested in a long term relationship I was a rebound,a pillow ,a pillar in his time of loneliness,pain and lust,what hurt the most was that I'd fallen in love and I'd fallen in love for the first time,but home boy was just in love with the idea of love.
I was also unable to fulfill his lustful wants cause I'd made the decisions not to have sexual intercourse,and the moment he tried to take me out of what I had thought was our boundaries he created a drift in the relationship.
It hurt a lot to come with the terms that the relationship was over,more so that it was over so quickly and also I was denied the sense of closure cause I was still unsure of the reason why he broke up with me and that toyed with my mind for months.
I had to go through what me and my friend Abigail like to call the 'Zoey break up process"
Me and most of my friends are big fans of 'grownish' and so there's an episode where Zoey and Cash break up and she has to go through a process.
1.Delete everything from the relationship(pictures,texts etc)
2.depending on the reason of the break up and the depth of your feelings for him you then unfollow,delete numbers,unfriend.Basically make sure nothing reminds you of him.
3.everytime you think of him or think of going back you need not dwell on the emotion(this takes lots and lots and lots and lots of time)
4.dont get a rebound,rebound relationships never work out,if you feel the need to tell your ex you're in a new relationship and you want them to know what the new guy is doing better.Stop!!!You're going to end up hurting an innocent person in the process.
5.When getting into a new relationship,I think it's good if your new partner knows your previous relationship history,they should know that you're still healing and that you were hurt,this is always helpful.
6.do not compare relationships,no ones the same and if you're doing this you'll evidently just be unhappy.
Although heartbreak between young love is the most common we can't not address other forms of heartbreak
Two of my friends also poets wrote what to date I think is one of my favorite poems(they're twins):
Broken.
Enslaved by petty emotions
Some nights not understanding what it means.
Hopless.
Crying and dying on the inside.
Pillows soaked in tears from excruciating desolation
Broken
Who is she
How difficult it must be to carry such broken expectation.
How could these tears not fall, when all when all.
Who is broken
Broken
He is broken.
You must have misunderstood...he is the one that is broken.
My younger brother doesn't brother doesn't cry when he's hurt
Why
because big boys don't cry
Why.
Emotions have been reserved for the female species
Why
I don't know
Broken.
My younger brother doesn't cry when his hurt
Why won't he cry when his hurt.
Last night, his soul overpowered his scripted alright
Outcast fright. I held him tight, he pushed me out of sight "I'm alright".
Broken.
Just like your father.
You are broken.
I'm afraid that one day you will grow up.
Hook up with a skirt in make up. then screwup... another break up. No back up...too many ups -you-" are bound to break down
Broken
So typical of you to have no emotion-
By Asanda and Awethu Nkese
Just because I don't show it-doesn't mean I'm not broken.I leave all these words unspoken. But at the end of the day we're all broken.
These are things we find ourselves saying as girls cause we put so much energy and effort into relationships some of us even put our worth in the relationship.
We're heartbroken cause we keep dwelling on past emotions,we're broken cause we won't forgive and we spend time and energy holding grudges,we're broken cause we refuse to be fixed cause we believe it's okay to be broken,Wake up call you didn't come into this world token what makes you think you have to live a broken life and leave broken.
Am I over my ex now?
Yes,but it took forever it's a process,we don't really talk now,but I don't hate him or dislike him we have short convos every now and again,but we can never have the friendship we had again and that may as well be the only regret I have from that relationship,but to get over him,get over the relationship and be able to move on and not hate him I just had to forgive him.And accept that he wasn't the one he isn't a part of my process and purpose.
Do I think he was a mistake on my rollercoaster?
No I don't know fully why he came into my life the way he did,but if it was so I could write this paragraph then that was the reason for my failed relationship with him.
For long I held a grudge on my best friend cause she's broken a promise that to me was very important,I dwelled on the thought and bottled up the negative energy and everytime anyone did me wrong I'd mention it and mention this issue as well.
As girls we tend to do this a lot,it's like a 'I'm more broken then you challenge' or a 'my life's harder than yours' How many times I've heard the term,"you don't understand."
Stop not getting help,stop pushing people away that don't understand.Pain is pain yours may be due to a more unfortunate circumstance but we feel pain,we all have our lows and we all get heart broken.
Stop dwelling on your heart break,stop hating and holding grudges.
