secrets of a small town girl (one direction)

~second thoughts

As I got ready to meet Harry my mum came upstairs and barged into my room "going somewhere" she asked "dont you know how to knock" I replied, "i was just going to say im away out, and wont be back till late". "okay bye" i said. Taking the hint she walked out without saying another word. I got dressed for my date (if you could call it a date) with Harry. I took my time walking down to the park i wasnt in the mood to be perfectly honest, but maybe seeing Harry would cheer me up. Even though i had walked quite slowly i still got there before him, so i  took a seat on the bench, half an hour had passed and he still didnt show. I felt like such a mug and i wasnt waiting any longer. As soon as i got up he came strolling around the corner, "where have you been" i asked failing to hide my impatience. "sorry babe had to wait till the fans went away, but im here now", he said. "yes i can clearly see that now" i said. He could clearly see i want amused. "look i want to talk about last night" he said completely changing the subject. "what is there to talk about" i asked feeling rather confused. "well what you told me, i was a bit shooken up and i didnt want to bother you with asking any questions but theres some stuff thats confused me". Oh god he was starting to ask questions what if i told things wrong and it all didnt add up hes going to think im such a liar. "well what questions" i asked him trying to keep my cool, "well first of all why did you start school like a week and a bit till the summer holidays", he asked "what has that got to do with what i told you" i asked dodging the question. "answer my question" he demanded sounding serious, "well... i wanted to make some friends so i wasnt spending my whole holidays with nobody to hang out with" i answered truthfully. "yeah i guess that makes sence" he said, "good are we done with the interagation" i asked exasperated."not quite yet, so this dude that tried to rape you where is he now" he asked me. The word rape hit me like a ton of bricks "he didnt rape me and if i knew where he was then maybe i wouldnt be scared shitless like i am right now" i said in my defense, "sorry rach i was just wondering" he said giving me a hug, "its fine i just want to forget about it" i said.

As we wandered around beside the lake me and harrys hands were intertwined it was so peaceful here at night not a soul about i was calmed down until Harry had another question, "rach can i ask you something" he asked warily "fire away" i said. "well yesterday when i asked you to be my girlfriend, do you think it was a bit fast i mean i hardly know you". I stopped dead in my tracks "what" i asked him giving him a chance to explain himself. "well i was just thinking, what happens with hate from fans and that?" "do you honestly think i care about hate, i can handle hate" i replied trying to reassure him,"i dont know if you can, with all youve been through", he said, trying not to take offense i replied "hey im a tough cookie i can take care of myself dont you worry". "what about seeing each other in private, like we have been doing" he offered. "are you embarrassed to be seen with me is that it" i asked, he stood there in silence, looking at the ground not saying a word that had to be it. i got closer to him so we were face to face "you make me sick, i should have known i couldnt trust you, if you dont have any intention of staying, get the hell out of my life" i said as i stormed off, i had no idea whether i was upset or angry i gess i was a mix of both, the tears were streaming down my face although i was fuming. I knew he was following me but for some reason he wasnt saying anything he obviously didnt know what to say and he was so far behind i didnt dare look back, i didnt want to let him know he had broken me thats not how things work with me. As i was about to enter my house i looked back and he was at the end of my street just looking at me. I really dont care how famous he is and how many girls chase after him, if he wasnt prepared to be with me infront of people then i wasnt prepared to reject other guys to be his dirty little secret i slammed the door behind me and broke down on the ground crying.