secrets of a small town girl (one direction)

~the end of the road

I got home, and instead of crying feeling sorry for myself i drowned my sorrows with some alcohol, Becky was gone for a while, i was home alone. I had a text message

"i know, youre with Becky and i know its only a matter of time before i find you and my sister, and for everyones sake you better watch your back, and whoever elses lives you have ruined along the way by letting them get to know you, im going to find you, and when i do you will know of it you dirty little bitch, thats not a threat thats a promise"

I knew exactly who i was, shaking all over with fear i came to the conclusion everyone would be better off if i ended myself, its a terrible thought but i couldnt help it, there was no point in slitting my wrists again i regretted that ever since it happened. I went into the medical cabinet and found some sleeping pills, i figured if i took enough of them everyones lives would be much better. I had half the bottle of pills in my hand, then i thought about Mel and Josh, Becky and even Harry even though i had blown it there might have been some chance he was still interested. Then i remembered the look of horror on his face when i said i loved him, it was such a cringey moment i hated to even think of it. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote, 

Beck, youve gone through so much for me and i am eternally gratefull but i cant do it again i thought i could but i couldnt, tell Harry im sorry and that i really did love him, he will introduce you to Mel Josh and Drake send them my love ~rach.x 

I left the note on the kitchen counter for Becky for when she got back, the little piece of paper soaked with tearstains. i wandered off with my drink in hand and the pills in my pocket if this was going to be the end i had to make sure, i was doing the right thing. I called Harry one last time,

He let it ring so i called again, it rang twice before he hang up i threw my phone at the ground whilst i sat myself down on the same park bench where me and Harry were on our first date. I was sitting re imagining how it went playing our conversations and memories over and over in my head, i had only known him for a short while but it felt like forever, i loved him with all my heart if he felt the same way maybe things could have been different just maybe.