-hope

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by pxxssive

by pxxssive

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hi everyone, i'm sure if you're as heartbroken as i am i brought a twelve pack of tissues, they're in the other room.

don't worry, they're extra soft, i ain't no monster.

now you may be asking, "what the fuck lauryn why would you do that to my heart, i kinda want to stab you through YOUR heart with a wooden stake." well, i can assure you i feel the same way, and i'm not a vampire. sorry.

the reason this book ended the way it did, was because it is necessary for light to be brought to eating disorders. they are dark, consuming, and downright ugly- and i wouldn't wish it on anybody.

when my dad died, i binged like there was no tomorrow, i gained 30 pounds and was just very unhealthy mentally and physically. my weight and my appearance is something that riddles me day by day, and it's not something to glorify.

when you have an eating disorder, nothing about it is pretty. it's not to 'get that perfect beach bod' or 'getting in shape', it's 'i need to restrict so i feel worthy' or 'it's necessary for me to cope' or 'i'm doing this for the benefit of others so i'm not taking up unnecessary space'.

i have read my fair share of stories where authors lay on every mental disorder into their characters out there, and in 98% of those books, they survive.

that is not the only case.

over 70 million people worldwide suffer from eating disorders, and 4% of those individuals fall to mortality- that's about 3 million. eating disorders have the highest mental illness mortality rate, period.

however, 60% of these individuals have been able to successfully recover, and i'm one of them.

i'm here to share that there is hope, whether you start small scale by confiding in a close friend or speaking to a doctor or psychologist- there is hope.

you are stronger than you think.

national eating disorder hotline: 1-800-931-2237

hopeline network: 1-800-442-4673

national association of anorexia nervosa and associated disorders: 1-630-577-1330

overeaters anonymous: 1-505-891-2664

my instagram is lauryn.caulley, don't hesitate to reach out if you need someone to listen.

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