Broken

XIX

POV: Sebastian

I blink groggily, feeling lightheaded. It's dark, but the blood surrounding me is still wet.

That's not good.

I carefully get up, the world spinning. My back feels like it was sliced in half with a rusty knife, though I wouldn't put that pst him.

After the world mainly stops spinning I limp over to the bathroom to care for my wounds. I'm rather glad Macy isn't here to help me, this time feels so much worse and as hard as it will be by myself I hate when she has to see the injuries inflicted by our father.

I wish she could have a normal life, caring parents and a non-messed up brother. I repeat it like a mantra in my head whenever it gets rough; 'once Macy is safe.'

When I contemplate running away?
Once Macy is safe.

When I contemplate... darker ideas?
Once Macy is safe.

My life hinges on her- all I care about at this point is her life, her happiness. I don't care much about my life, it's going to be quite short.

I sigh. Once Macy is safe, Sebastian.

I pull off my shirt once I reach the bathroom. I turn on the shower and rinse the blood off my body so I can care for the wounds more precisely.

Stepping back onto the rug, I clean the wounds on my front. There are several cuts and bruises on my stomach and ribs, nothing that I haven't seen before.

I turn around, looking over my shoulder. I gasp in shock at the sight.

There's a patch of blood in between my shoulder blades, going down underneath it a way. I carefully dab away the blood, realizing there's letters engraved in the skin.

MACY DOES NOT NEED YOU

NOT A PROPER SMYTHE

YOU ARE DISOWNED

JUST DIE ALREADY

MISTAKE

FREAK

WEAK

I feel sick at the letters but clean them the same as all the other wounds. The only way it could get worse is if it got infected, right?

I bandage all the wounds with some difficulty, numb with shock at the letters. Shouldn't I be happy about not being a proper Smythe?

I suppose there's just something about being disowned that brings down your spirits.

This means he won't be back, right? I'm no longer his son. He never liked Macy, he wanted boys to carry on the family name. She was nothing to him, he won't be back for her.

As soon as I've finished cleaning up and ensured that I won't bleed through the bandages, I head back to Dalton.

It's dark as I walk outside, so I try to hide my extreme limp and keep my head high, to not seem like a target for anyone to attack.

Luckily I make it to Dalton safely, and the sun is finishing rising as I walk to the doors. 

I silently make my way to my dorm, and I'm fishing out my key when a I hear footsteps down the hall.

"Sebastian? Where did you go yesterday? You disappeared," Jeff asks, holding a cup of tea. I roll my eyes- I forgot he wakes up with the sun like a fucking rooster. He's as loud as one, too.

"Nowhere," I say nonchalantly, opening the door and slipping inside to avoid questioning. I hear him ask something about a 'secret lover' but I ignore it.

"Sebastian?" Macy asks, her voice full of concern.

I look over, seeing her sitting up on her bed. "You should be sleeping," I say quietly, sitting on my bed.

"You were gone a long time," she points out.

"Macy, did you sleep at all?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "I was too worried, I couldn't sleep."

I sigh. "I was gone a while, I slept while I was home."

She raises an eyebrow. "You slept or you passed out?"

"Passed out," I mumble.

"That's a really long time," she says worriedly.

I shrug, immediately regretting it as the wounds on my back hurt even more. "I might have passed out and then it turned to sleeping and I stayed asleep."

She nods, obviously not believing it but wanting to.

"I'm fine. A bit sore, but I'll be fine," I assure her.

"What if he comes back?" she asks, lip quivering.

I shake my head, glad to have some good news. "He won't be back."

"How do you know?"

I pause for a minute. "He, er, left a note disowning me. He only ever came back for me, so know he won't be back."

She frowns. "I'm sorry you were disowned but happy at the same time."

I laugh, ignoring the searing pain it sends through my ribs. "Just be happy. He's gone now."

A smile spreads across her face as she nods. "Yeah. Yeah, he's gone. He's gone now, he won't be back." She laughs, a laugh of pure joy. "Oh god, he's gone! He's gone forever!"

I can't help smiling at her joy. "He's gone," I repeat.

She yawns, and I chuckle slightly. "You, missy, had better get some sleep."

She rolls her eyes, still smiling fondly. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. 'Night, Bas."

"Good morning, technically, Em," I reply, causing her to giggle before we both fall asleep.