Book 1 in the "Unspoken Words" series. This is a short story in which every chapter is a short diary entry.
"And with that, she jumped."
~
After blowing out the candles on her birthday cake during her 17th birthday, Maya Greene takes her last breat...
"Hey, babe," Nathan said with a smile as I approached him. He instantly wrapped his arms around me and connected our lips into a long kiss. He smelled the usual. Mint and a manly cologne. A mix of two scents I was so used to.
Afterwards, the rest of friends greeted me and Bree's face brightened before she hugged me.
I didn't feel anything during the kiss or during the hug. But I loved it, because of the particular warmth that radiated off them and briefly settled upon my skin.
Nathan wrapped his arm around my waist and I snuggled against him as we headed towards the main entrance and walked through the crowded corridors of Evergreen High.
Energized students were busy hugging, talking and reconciling after another long summer break. But the minute their eyes landed on us, everyone stepped aside to clear the way for us.
I hate this.
I'm not some queen or a Goddess. But my words and actions always say otherwise.
Bree slammed a skinny redhead girl's locker door shut and offered a fake smile to her, leading her to clutch her books against her chest and flee like a scared cat. I mentally rolled my eyes at Bree as she opened her locker, immediately taking a look at the mirror on inside of her locker door. Not long before her mirror would crack of her flawless beauty.
(Another secret: I don't really like Bree Johnson. Not at all, to be honest.)
I opened my locker next to hers. The one I've had for the past three years. It smelled the same. Old books, Oreos and licorice.
I love Oreos and licorice. Apparently, there's something about black sweets that causes water to form in my mouth and my stomach to growl.
Anyway
I wish I had the courage to survive one more year of this hell of a school, but waking up every morning is getting harder. Pushing his body off mine almost every morning is getting harder. Breathing is getting harder. And the more time I spend being someone I truly despise, the lonelier do I feel. But the more lonely I feel, the more I want Nathan and his warmth even though I know he simply means nothing to me.
You never really understand the meaning of loneliness until you're surrounded by a bunch of people, but keep wondering why you're feeling so lonely.
When I sat on the table that belonged to us popular brats in the center of the cafeteria, I was surrounded by a bunch of "friends". I even sat in Nathan's lap as he occasionally stroked my thigh and had his arm wrapped around me while laughing with the other jocks and cheerleaders. However, I had never felt lonelier.
And I guess that's the art of loneliness. You never really understand it before you've felt it.
Sincerely, whatever.
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