27. Promise Me

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October 1st, 2018

Dear S.B,

After dropping by my house to tell Heaven's mother that the soup she made for me when I was sick was good and I'm thankful that she took care of me, I left as she continued to stare at me with an astonished expression.

When I returned to school, I approached my locker and inhaled the scent of Oreos and licorice one last time.

I was going to miss black sweets.

I scrolled through my social media accounts before deleting them. Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat. All of them. If I'm going to erase Maya Greene from the universe, the social media needs to be erased too.

And now, I'm sitting on the rooftop of Evergreen High with my legs swung over as I'm scribbling my last words in this diary that really came in handy during my dark hours.

It's late. And cold. The sun is about to fall out of the sky. Everyone has gone home to their loving families who are probably waiting for them.

I have a place waiting for me too. I've never given afterlife a thought, but I've always thought about hell and paradise. I think I'm going to hell, but it doesn't matter. I just want this to end. This pain, this exhaustion, this numbness and this hollow emptiness. I want it all to end.

Anyway,

I think it's time to go now. For good.

I don't want to blame anyone. If someone blames themselves after I'm gone, please tell them it wasn't their fault, S.B. It's nobody's fault. It's my fault. I did this to myself. Everything is my fault.

Anyway,
(This is my last anyway. I promise.)

Do you know who I am? I'm not going to say my name. Perhaps you've already figured it out. Perhaps you haven't. It doesn't really matter.

I can at least tell you this. I am the most popular girl at Evergreen high. The most flawless beauty. I'm adorned by many, but secretly hated by everyone. They look at me as The Queen. And many aspire to be just like me.

But the point is, I am both liked and disliked, but I'm not loved. However, I do want to be remembered. And it would be great to be remembered by Someone Beautiful. So promise me, S.B. Promise me a place in your house of memories.

Sincerely, M.G.

*****

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