Nothing Without You (That Special Something sequel)

Chapter 4: It was finally time

16th April 1991. 11:32.

It was sunday. My day off. I always had the same routine:

Wake up at eleven. Make breakfast. Wake up Remus at eleven thirty. Do whatever I want.

It was pretty simple. 

My life was pretty simple. 

But I wanted to change that.

The reason my life had been so simple, so normal, so easy, was because I was pushing away my troubles. I had shoved away any thought of Lily, James, Peter or Sirius, and had told myself to move on. I had re-united with my family, so my old simple life could re-enter my new, complicated one. I had gotten an easy job that pushed away any sadness, and I had become quite a personality in the Leaky Cauldron. All of the regulars knew my name. I had realised that I had been using it as a distraction, to keep myself from thinking about my old life. But I loved that old life. So I decided to bring myself back. To embrace what happened, rather than push away. Which is why I decided it was finally time.

Time to tell Remus about everything.

"What are you planning on doing today?" I asked Remus, as I swallowed some cheeri-owls and milk.

"I'm not sure." Remus shrugged, buttering his toast. I smiled. I was hoping he would say that. "What?" He asked, noticing my smile.

"Because I think it is time that I-" I breathed, and looked at him. "I think it's time that I finally told you about what happened with me and Sirius."

His eyes widened, and he put down his toast. "Oh," he mumbled. "Yeah, of course. Um, can I finish my breakfast first?"

"Oh yeah." I chuckled, having another spoonful of my cereal. "If you want we can have snacks while I tell you!"

"Yeah," Remus chortled. "It can be like a sort of ghost story sleepover thing!"

I snickered over my breakfast, blowing my cheeri-owls around the milk with the air coming from my nose. 

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Moony?" I giggled. I stopped laughing. So did he. I looked at him. Tears were in my eyes.

"That sounded like something James would say." Remus muttered. I nodded, pressing my lips together to stifle a sob. He held my hand, which was lying next to my cereal bowl. "Hey, I don't need to finish my toast."

I sniffed and laughed a little. "It's cool. Finish your toast. Get all prepared or whatever. Then come to the living room so we can talk!"

I finished my cereal and cleaned all the dishes with a few waves of my wand. Then, I got a bowl and some ingredients, waved my wands a few times, and put some popcorn, cookies, tomato and cucumber on the coffee table in the living room, for our ghost story sleepover thing.

 "You saw us apparate, didn't you?" I asked Remus, as we sat facing eachother on the living rom couch, crunching on our snacks.

"Yeah." Remus nodded, his eyes sparkling with interest.

"Well, somehow Sirius found where Peter was hiding, and he got angry. But it was the scary sort of angry. Not shouting. He was quiet. He was spitting." I shivered at the thought. "Peter was stammering, he was a scared little idiot. He was pleading, saying that he would have died for us and not them." Remus made an angered face. "I couldn't help myself. I slapped him. And then I slapped him again, and then I went a bit crazy, screaming and trying to scratch his eyes out. Muggles in the streets gathered around and listened. Then Peter," I breathed. "Then Peter framed Sirius. He was shouting so everyone could hear that it was Sirius's fault they died. We all got our wands out, and then, suddenly, there was an explosion. Twelve muggles, dead. Peter, dead. Just me and Sirius left, looking like the muderers. The Aurors came and took him away, and I was taken to St. Mungos, where they tried to convince me I was crazy. Then I went to the trial. At least I thought it was a trial. Barty announced Sirius's imprisonment, and sent him away. That's when I came back to you. We had the funeral, and then I left again." I breathed deeply again. "I didn't know what came over me, but I knew I had to see him. I somehow broke into Azkaban, found Sirius, and they locked me away for nothing."

Remus looked at me, incredulously. "What happened in azkaban?"

"Nothing." I said. "We just looked at eachother, for nine years. Barely eating, barely sleeping, our happiness being sucked out of us every hour. Just looking at eachother kept us sane." I looked down at a cookie I was turning in my hands. "I can't imagine what sanity he has left by now." A tear splattered onto my cookie, and I wiped it off thoroughly, taking a hard bite into it. 

Remus touched my shoulder, and I looked up to him. His eyes were a bit blurry, but he kept it in. I swore it was some sort of magical power of his. Because he never cried. Unlike me. No matter how hard I would try, I could never hold it in. Remus pulled me in for a hug, and I let out a huge sob, and squeezed him tightly.

It brought me back to my thirteenth birthday, when I got a menacing note from Snape, and he hugged me, and I cried in front of them for the first time. 

I thought about what life would be like, without him. But the truth is I don't think I would have one without him.

I pulled out of the embrace and looked straight at him.

"Thank you." I whispered, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you so much!"