Nothing Without You (That Special Something sequel)

Chapter 23: Going to the Burrow

14th March 1997. 9:42.

After long, frustrating discussions, I had finally pursuaded Remus to move back to his old house. He left the day before. I was packing, but not to move back in with Remus. It was time for us to be separate for a while. He needed to live a life without me bringing him down for a while. I was going to the burrow. Also known as the home of the Weasley's. Mrs Weasley had been kind enough to take me in, whilst I recovered.

It was sweet, but in a way, pointless. There was no way a change of scenery would help me recover. The only way for me to recover was time. But I doubted even time would mend my heart. It seemed permanently aching. It never stopped.

But of course, being with nicer people would help. I didn't plan on staying there for long, of course. The war was getting worse and, as much as I was hurting, I had to help. I wouldn't be able to recover properly until I knew Harry was safe. So, for now, I would except my invitation to stay at The Burrow.

I shut my suitcase and tied my balloon to it. I fiddled with my necklace, to make sure it was there, and then I left Grimmauld Place.

"I'm so glad you decided to come and stay." Mrs Weasley told me once we got back downstairs after magically unpacking my things. I would be staying in Percy's room. "It will be so much better to have someone normal around." She lowered her voice. "And someone who doesn't glow with beauty."

I laughed a little. "Thanks."

"Not that you aren't beautiful!" She mended, cleaning something with her wand. "But I'm glad you aren't talking about it all the time!"

"Don't worry, Mrs Weasley." I told her, smiling weakly. I still couldn't smile properly. I was still weak. "I'm sure Fleur'll lighten up!"

"I hope so!" She agreed, sitting down opposite me.

Speak of the devil, I thought, as the beautiful Fleur Delacour floated into the room. I didn't smile at her. I only tried to smile to people I liked.

"Good morning," she sighed in her french accent, sliding gracefully into a seat. "I must inform you zat I will be leaving soon." Mrs Weasley's face lit up. "Bill and I are moving in together." Mrs Weasley's face dimmed into a frown. She looked at me. "I am so sorry I didn't get to be with you for longer!" 

"Don't worry about it." I told her. I smiled a little. She was sweet. "We'll get to know eachother when the wedding comes." I turned to Mrs Weasley, who gave me a scary look. A mother's look. For some reason it made me smile harder.

"I will be leaving in two days." Fleur confirmed. "I'm going to miss you all!" She gave us both a hug. She sighed and floated away. "Don't you just love being in love!"

Don't you just love being in love. It kept ringing in my head. Yes, I did love being in love. Nothing is better. Nothing.

But when you lose it, nothing is worse. Nothing.

Nothing seemed to be my word know. Like it was me. Like it controlled me. Nothing.

I felt like nothing. Nothing without Sirius. 

All of a sudden I could barely breathe. I didn't know what I was doing, but I stood up, grabbed my balloon, and apparated somewhere.

I ended up in a forest.

We never got married. We never had kids. We never moved into a nicer house than Grimmauld Place and made it our own. We never had grandkids. We never named our kids after Lily and James. We never went back to Godrics Hollow together and cried and then came home to our amazing family. We never gave Remus and Harry the honour of being godfathers to our children. We never watched Harry graduated together. We never watched Harry defeat the dark lord together.

We never did anything.

I stood up off the ground. My balloon was still in my hand.

"I can't believe you!" I shrieked, looking above me to where Sirius, Lily and James watched me. "I can't believe what you've done to me! We were supposed to have normal lives! Ones we would look back on and laugh about! I'm not laughing!" I sniffed as tears rolled down. "Do you remember? Do you remember when we had hope? And dreams? And we thought our lives would be normal? That's something to laugh about! Why did you have to die on me? I know it's not your fault! But why did you have to make yourself such a target? Because you're so talented, and skilled, and brave! That's why they were out to get you! So maybe, if you weren't so talented, or skilled, or brave, we would all be standing side by side, happy, with our children!"

The balloon slipped from my hand. My heart leaped and I jumped to grab it. It was out of my reach. I couldn't get it. I whimpered.

"For you!" I shouted to Lily, James and Remus. I dropped to the floor and put my head in my knees.

I was mentally unstable. I didn't know how I lasted so long without cracking. I lost my two best friends and the love of my life. I only had one person left. Remus. And he was moving on with his life. He found Tonks. He was the sane one.

And I was the crazy one.

I looked up, and watched the red balloon float away into the sky. I grabbed my necklace and tapped it. The blue glow made me squint, but I could clearly see me and my friends at graduation, smiling and waving. I sighed, and watched us smile and wave repeatedly, until we disappeared into blue smoke. My eyes widened. This had never happened before.

The blue smoke disappeared, and the blue glow blinded me. I squinted, and then I could make out two figures. It was Sirius and I. We were in Godric's Hollow, in front of a tree, Sirius's motorcycle parked behind us. Sirius had his arm around me, and we were both smiling and waving at the camera. I blew a kiss at the camera, and Sirius hugged me from behind. He whispered something in my ear, and I laughed and we both mouthed to the camera.

"I love you."

He kissed my cheek, and it replayed in front of me.

I almost cried. I remembered doing that, right after James proposed. We went out to celebrate, and Remus brought his camera. We all took moving pictures, and put it in an album. I missed those days. When everything was happy.

I missed those days when everyone was alive.