If I Come Home. (frerard, DAISIES pt2)

Chapter 2

          

Frank's thought's felt so jumbled the past night. He thought, he thought the day after he graduated he would be happy. Ecstatic. But here he was, rolling around in the dark because he couldn't sleep. He had gone home, and dutifully shown up at his mother's after party last night. He had had some fun, his friends were there. His mother actually liked his friends now. But something had been hanging over his thoughts like a thick and angry storm cloud, heavy with rain.

The morning sky was turning grey outside his window, the first rays of the days sun peeking up between his curtains and attempting to illuminate his room, but it really only made it into a few golden strings here and there. He rolled over again, shoving his face into his pillow and groaning. He didn't want to be awake, but he knew he should get up. He had stuff to do today, before he met up with his friends tonight. 

Frank was almost surprised when a warm hand slid around his waist, he could feel the other boy scooting closer and nuzzling his face into Franks neck. "Let's go make some coffee." Vic murmured into his ear, placing a soft kiss on the nape of his neck. Frank just grumbled, shoving his face harder against the pillow. 

Vic sighed, propping himself up in a half sitting position. He had semi long brown hair, just brushing his shoulders. His skin was deep tan, glowing caramel in the golden rays of sun peeking in through the window. He was far skinnier than Frank, a bit taller too. His eyes were a warm brown, one that Frank had grown to adore... but he wasn't sure if he loved them. 

"Or,..." Frank began, hardly understandable from his position in the pillows. "You could go make some coffee, bring me a cup, and then i'll drink it, and then," He continued, rolling over onto his back to look up at Vic now, a playful smirk on his face. "I'll go back to sleep. How bout' that?"

"Do you really want your mom to find me? I'm not that sneaky." Vic giggled, resting one palm on the other side of Frank so he could lean over him, Vic's long hair dangling in Franks face, wiggling his head playfully to make the long strands brush Frank's nose. While in theory, having Vic go make him a cup of coffee sounded lovely, it probably wasn't the best idea. He could already imagine the screaming if his mother found a boy in his room, let alone wandering her house and drinking her coffee.

He didn't even want to think about the idea of his parents finding Vic here. He hardly even accepted his sexuality, and he knew damn well his parents wouldn't. He honestly didn't know if he would ever tell them, and that thought really saddened him. He didn't wanna think about the fact that his parents probably wouldn't be at his wedding because he was most likely going to marry a man.

"You okay?" Vics soft voice cut through his thoughts, and Frank shook his head to toss them away. He didn't need to be dwelling on that right now. He didn't really give a shit what his parents thought. Okay, maybe he did. Just a little. But he wouldn't admit that.

He nodded, sitting up and brushing Vic away. Frank swung his legs off the bed, grabbing a pair of boxers and throwing them on before crossing the room and closing himself in his bathroom.

He sighed, moving to his sink and looking at himself in the mirror for a moment. He hardly seemed to recognize himself recently, he didn't know why. But when he looked in the mirror... he just didn't see Frank. He saw purple under eyes, he saw greasy hair. He saw pale skin and dark day after shaving fuzz. He didn't see a good christian boy like he knew he was supposed to be, he just saw a stranger.

I don't know why my thoughts are all in the gutter today. He thought as he brushed the ideas swarming around in his skull away. Looking down, Frank pulled open one of the counter drawers open and snatched a pill bottle out. He unscrewed the cap a little too forcefully, before swiping two of the little white circles out and swallowing them dry.

And then, he brushed his teeth. And continued his morning like nothing had happened.

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The rest of the day was a blur for him, business as usual.

Vic and him had left the house pretty soon, slipping out before his parents even really knew he was awake. They had driven to the record shop, Frank's job. Usually his friend group just hung out there, weather Frank was on shift or not.

Him and Vic rode in Frank's car silently, as his hazel eyes scanned for a parking spot. Suddenly, he spotted one. Sadly, another car seemed to just as he had. Frank groaned, thumping his hand on his steering wheel in frustration before going for it anyways, jerking his wheel to turn into the spot and causing Vic to gasp and the other car to honk at him in annoyance.

He remained quiet as he put his car into par, twisting his keys out of the ignition. "A little aggressive maybe?" Vic questioned, crossing his arms.

"What are you, my girlfriend?" Frank snapped, Before grabbing his keys and and stomping out of the car, a bit dramatic. He knew that statement would upset the younger boy. Frank knew it. Frank had up until this point, refused to make things official or give them a label. He kept Vic on a little rope, refusing to cut him off or pull him any closer.

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt, he could feel the June sun burning on his back. As he crossed the parking lot towards the store, he could hear Vic silently falling behind him. Ducking through the door to the record store, Frank waited to hold the door open for Vic. He just pushed past him and kept on walking without Frank.

He didn't care though. He really wanted to say he loved Vic, he wanted to say he cared. But he just didn't, and nothing was changing that.

"Ayee Vic," Frank looked up from the floor towards the counter, watching as Vic fist bumped with Chris across the counter, Ryan and Vinny leaning around the counter.

Frank smiled at them politely, ducking behind the shop's counter to grab some coffee from the break room. He quietly made his cup, stirring in creamer and sugar. He felt unsettled, almost paranoid. He felt like he was walking through a dream, a movie, looking on from the outside.

He shook his head, ducking back out and plastering a huge goofy smile on his face. With one hand he held his coffee, the other hand playing with his hair as he brushed all his bad thoughts off and jumped right back into the conversation.