His Salvation

Part Twenty One

Aditya glanced down at his watch again, he couldn't wait to see Zoya, he wasn't sure what it was about her that made him feel human again, but she just seemed to have that kind of effect on him.

Zoya unlocked the door, pushing it open she loitered in the doorway for a few seconds before shutting the door behind her, she was slightly stunned at how her heart had picked up a little, beating so fast she could hear the blood rush around her ears. Her body lowered "Hello you"

Aditya paused in his steps, of course he wouldn't be the first person she was interested in seeing, his eyes flickered over the cat "She's missed you" he left out how he had missed her too

Zoya nodded and stood up "Hi"

"Hi" he smiled, walking towards her

"If it's okay, i'd really like to shower"

Aditya pushed his hands down, "Of course" he cursed under his breath at his own stupidity, why would she want to be held by him? She was his friend, he had to accept that, be that for her, if that was all she could ever offer, it would be enough, it had to be.

"I don't have a change of clothes, could I possibly" her face heated up, she felt unable to finish asking the question

Aditya led her upstairs "Here, take this t-shirt, I can't give you any trousers because they wouldn't fit, I hope this is okay"

Zoya gripped onto the t-shirt tightly, looking up at him she offered him a weak smile, then made her way to the bathroom. Why did she suddenly feel, excited? Had she missed him? No. It couldn't be that, or maybe it could. Either way she wasn't sure, all she knew was that being back with him made her consider what he wanted. He claimed to love her but did love even exist? If it did, and this was her only shot, she didn't want to mess it up, she had no worth, nothing at all, but he made her feel special, she would do anything to keep him here, all the things Yash had wanted, she would give to Aditya. That was love, giving yourself away completley, right?

Aditya looked up as Zoya stepped out of the bathroom, one leg was crossed over the other and she gripped desperately at the t-shirt, trying to tug it down as much as possible. He patted the seat before him, the brush in his hand "No one has looked after you in so long, you look so unwell"

Zoya sat down, "You wish to look after me" her voice could barely be called a whisper

"That's all i've ever wanted" he lifted the brush and began to run it through her wet hair, the scent of his shampoo in her hair was wildly intoxicating and without any kind of realisation he leant forward and pressed a kiss to her shoulder, he froze as she did "Sorry, sometimes I just can't help myself" he looked away guilty, confused when Zoya got up and sat beside him on the bed

Zoya raised a hand to his cheek, watching as his eyes fluttered shut "If you want me, then you can have me" her eyes met his, watching how his eyes darkened slightly before he looked away again. She led down, yes, this seemed the right thing to do, to give herself up to him, that way he wouldn't hurt her like Yash did, this time she wouldn't be at fault. She tried to calm the tremor jolting through her body, but to no avail. Her eyes closed tightly when she felt the warmth of his body above her own

Aditya pressed his lips to her forehead, noting how she flinched, he moved his lips to her collar bone, his eyes grazed over her clenched fists, how she bit into her cheeks, her breathing heavier "How you react to everything is how I know what you want and what you don't want, if you wanted me, you would be kissing me too, no reaction is also a reaction" he sat back, pulling the blanket over her instead

"No, I do want it, this is what you want right, me, like this, silent, Yash always wanted me to be silent, he wanted to be in control, you love me and that's what you want" she pulled her knees up to her chest as she sat up, did he not want her anymore?

"I don't want control over you Zoya, I want you to be you, having you near is more than enough, you make me feel like I could be a good man"

Zoya blinked fast "You are a good man, you're my good man"

Though Aditya knew she didn't mean that in the way it sounded he still wished one day she would "Only good for you Zoya" his smile was sad as he stood up "Oh and Zoya, I never want you to be silent either, I am not Yash, I want you as yourself, i'm not trying to change you into something you're not, you wouldn't be my Zoya if I did that" his hand rested on the door handle "Get some rest"

"Are you going somewhere" an image of Pooja swept through her mind, but she ignored it

"Just downstairs, did you need something"

Zoya pursed her lips "You said, if I needed you, that I knew where you were, you said you were going to do something stupid, that you needed to hear from me" she cleared her throat as he turned back to face her "If you need me, then you know where I am" she looked at her fingers, glancing up slowly at him

The smile on his face made her feel slightly dizzy. "Thank you, but I don't think you would want to help someone like me"

Once again he had spoken like he didn't deserve kindness, she didn't understand why he would ever think that way "I do want to, I don't know how to but I can try, Anjana aunty told me about your family" she took a moment as he inhaled sharply, not wanting to overstep the line "To go through that, and still be willing to help me, I think that's strong and kind and you deserve that to be returned, I know how it feels to not have all of the family around you that you wish you had, but I know they would be proud of you, you saved my life Aditya, doesn't that make you good"?

He smiled down at her, though his eyes were teary "If that's what you think, I don't think they would be proud of me Zoya, who I am with you, isn't who I am with other people"

"If you can be this good with me, you can't be bad, we all make mistakes, but that doesn't make you bad"

"And if I did things on purpose" he knew that if Zoya ever knew what he had done, she would hate him and he didn't want that. But he would never be worthy of her, trying to become worthy of her was pointless, it was already too late.

"Then you had a reason, to me, you'll always be a good man Aditya, you deserve to be happy, if it wasn't for you, Yash would have got me back, my life would be very different by now"

Aditya nodded "Thank you, now get some rest, you need it"

"Who is Pooja"

"Ah, you saw her on the news, she's uh, a family friend, i've known her for a while, we're not together or" he scratched the back of his neck "Not that you would care about that anyway, sorry" he shook his head walking out of the room, clearly embarassed

Zoya nodded "I would care Aditya, i'm just not sure why" she whispered to herself before lying down again

Apologies for late updates, I am back at uni and am struggling to get myself in a schedule. But as soon as I sort my life out, updates will be more regular, please just bare with me, my late updates annoy me too!

Also, I am having issues replying on comments, i'm not sure why must be a Wattpad error, either way I am reading what you're saying, i'm sorry if I have not replied, it hasn't been intentional, please don't stop commenting it makes my day. In regards to other updates, they're coming don't stress