Angels and Death

chapter 14 "MOST HORRORFYING. MOST DELECTABLE."

CHAPTER 14. "MOST HORRORFYING. MOST DELECTABLE." ©Samantha Thomas 2010

"Sam! Sam! Wake up!" Tiffany said as she shook me awake. "Huh?" I gargled out groggily. "It's time to go, come on." as I sat up I felt something trickle down my face like a bug, and when I went to swipe at it my hands came away wet. Tears, huh.

"I was about to wake you up anyways but they said wee could leave just as I was about to. You were having a nightmare I guess." Tiff said nonchalantly. "Oh. So are you talking to me now?" my voice was raspy and hurt like hell, like I had been screaming for hours. I was so dry, parched. "That depends... Are you alright?" she asked with concern, and for a few moments I contemplated whether or not I really was.

She came over to me just a few small steps and caressed my hair lovingly. Her eyes became sad and she said "You yelled out Caspian's name, you told me to kill you. You yelled out you love him, that you didn't want him to leave you again, and then... then you said you wanted to die." a tear escaped from her eye, "Sam you didn't... your not suicidal are you? ...please talk to me." she ended so softly and the tears silently feel from her sad big eyes.

"What? Oh Tiff no! of course not!" I was completely taken aback and it had taken me a few moments for me to even answer, I mean how can anyone just simply answer a question like that? "Honestly I'm not. I'm sad and lonely and I definitely feel as if something very significant is missing from me, but I'm not suicidal. I had a lot to drink last night and been under crazy stress, and I haven't been in a hospital since the-" I cleared my throat suddenly quite loudly I felt as if it were closing "-accident. So I guess my mind was trying to deal and smashed it all together making mind mashed potatoes, ya know?"

She kept staring sadly at me, but still seemed skeptical, but decided-I think- to move on currently from it. "Man I'm am wicked sore, wicked hung over, and my throat is on fricking fire, so lets please go. Please."

We were about to finally leave, or so I thought- because Tiff stopped me abruptly with her hand as I went to take the first step out the door. "Sam-" she looked up at me with sorrow spent eyes and I met her gaze, tired for tired, sorrow for sorrow. "-never mind, lets go." and finally we left.

Once home I went straight to bed. didn't talk, didn't eat, I didn't even take my clothes off. Just peaceful, yet painful sleep. Tiffany wasn't anywhere in sight, off doing her own thing I suppose. The only time I thought of this was when I woke myself up to take my antibiotics, and painkillers.

The last time I woke up my stomach was on fire along with my hand. I was absolutely starving and if I took another pill in my sickly stomach I think I might die. So I peeled myself from my covers and sheets, swiped the thick oozing drool spit from the right side of my face where it pooled into a cold stinky puddle. I then adorned something on my feet and descended my steps.

It was dark, so I'm either up really late, or really early, I had forgotten to check my alarm clock before I left my room. As I shuffled my stiff feet along space to space, room to room I turned on a few lights because the dark creeped my out. When I reached my kitchen and flipped on its light, I was instantly assaulted with a flashback from the other night and cringed severely.

The mess had been cleaned away, not a dot of evidence. Tiffany, I owe so much to this girl, that I don't know how I could ever repay her, or even thank her enough, or thank her properly even. I know sometimes I take her for granted and I really shouldn't Tiffs my rock, my best friend, my partner in crime.

Since my accident Tiff has really stepped up to MY plate, and helped out tremendously. I have no one else, and she has given nothing but love, loyalty back, caring for me when she had nothing to prove. Not ever. I cant work, I'm still healing, it killed me just that once wearing those heals that one time. I'm on S.S.I. not like working for subway was a cash cow to begin with. But before I even left the hospital she started helping me out with my bills, and house. She's a nurse in a pediatrics office, and honestly doesn't make that much money, but she asked for more hours to help pay MY bills. In the four weeks it took to get my S.S.I., she helped me get my paper work done and sent it in, and yelled at the people down at unemployment when they took their sweet time.