We finally arrived to the small town, and I'm actually really excited to spend time with Brooke. I can tell she really doesnt want to go. I keep hearing Michael say that it will be good for her. How is that good for her? I guess I dont really understand her anxiety or depression, or what caused it. But I want to figure her out. We all step out of the tour bus and Brooke looks amazing. (Although she looks extremely exhausted and sad.) I would do anything to make her happy.
Today Brooke wore her hair down, long and wavy (natural) , with a black guns and roses t-shirt, with the front tucked into pink shorts and white converse. She looks perfect. But I can tell that shes broken on the inside.. I have to talk to her.
We walk into town and the first place we go to is an ice cream store. I want Brooke to like me. Shes the most perfect girl I've ever met. She orders carmel ice cream, and I pay for her. She looks at me suprised. "Thanks Luke!" and she smiles at me. The first time I've seen her real smile.. wow..
"No problem Brooke, anything for you!" I say, smiling back. Michael glares at me from across the shop. Is he mad that I like Brooke? I walk up to him and say "Is everything okay?" Still glaring at me, he says "We'll talk later." Uh oh.
As were walking down the street, we notice a ferris wheel. Calum and Ashton yell and want to go on it. Maybe Brooke will want to sit by me on it. I go up to ask her, but I overhear her and Michaels conversation. "There's no way Im letting you go on that." "But Michael! It will be so much fun! And I want to sit by Luke..."
She wants to sit by me too! Im so happy! I bit my lip, starting to walk over there again until I hear, "No Brooke. What if you have a panic attack? I have to protect you." I heard a loud sigh come from Brooke. "Yeah.. I guess youre right.." She looks so sad. I can't stand it. I walk up to her, "Its okay Brooke, we can go on a walk instead!" I suggest. Until Michael steps in front of her. "Yeah, sounds like a great idea. The 3 of us can go."
While we were walking they told me so many stories about when they were younger. She seemed so different from the stories, it must be from before whatever it is that happened to cause all her disorders and stuff. They tell me about how they would go to Disneyland, and play video games, and go camping. All the stories are from long ago though. No recent stories. Maybe because Michael has been on tour so much? Probably not. She would do stuff while he's gone, right?
I cant beleive how close they are. Ive never met 2 siblings who were closer than Michael and Brooke. Michael knew so much about her anxiety and depression. (Im pretty sure thats all she has?) I hope one day, I will know all about it. Then I can protect her, and make her happy. Thats all I want.
We start to walk back to Calum and Ashton who were now off the ferris wheel. They tell us how much fun it was, and they were laughing so hard they could barely grt the words out. I glance over at Brooke and she looks pretty bummed out since she couldnt go on it. I feel so bad for her.
We get back on the tour bus when I help Brooke onto the bus. I grab her arm and notice these little cuts from her wrist, to her inner elbow. Most were faded scars, but some looked very new. I think she saw me looking cause her face got super red and she pulled her arm away quickly. my face gets red too and I look down. I think I've heard of that... Was she-? No, she couldnt have... cut herself.. could she?
