I feel bad making Brooke bring me up some food. I cant help it though, I just feel too tired to walk down there and interact with people. Im not even hungry, but I know that I should eat because I havent for a long time. I hear her start to come up the stairs, and for some reason I get really nervous.
"Hey Luke, I got you some spaghetti." She holds up a little white bowl and starts walking towards me. "Thanks." I take the bowl from her hands. I lean up against the wall, sitting in her bed. We look at eachother awkwardly, not knowing what to say. "So Luke.. About that whole anger attack thing.." She starts saying. I look up at her face, and she looks guilty for some reason. I raise an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. "Is it.. my fault?" She asks, sounding very worried. My eyes widen, I never thought about that before. I could never blame her for it though. "What? Brooke of course not." I shift awkwardly on the bed after I realize how quiet my voice sounds. "I just thought cause-" "Brooke, I was just overthinking. Its my fault, I just love you so much. I dont want anything to happen to you." I cut her off. Her face seems to lighten up, but only slightly. She doesnt seem to know what to say, so she just leans in and we hug. "I love you." I say to her. "I love you too, Luke." She says back.
I pull back from the hug and try to smile at her, and she giggles at my attempt. Its physically hard for me to smile and Im not sure why. Maybe because its not real.
I stare down at the spaghetti in my bowl, and it reminds me of the boys because we ate spaghetti all the time. I get lost in thought until Brooke says, "Do you like spaghetti?" sounding concerned. I look up at her, "Oh yeah, I love it. Im just not very hungry." I admit. She sighs. "You really should eat Luke, thats what the doctor said." I look back down to the spaghetti and sigh. "I know." I say. I take a bite of the spaghetti, flinching every time that I have to use my hands.
We sit and talk about all kinds of things while I eat my spaghetti. I tell her stories about the band, and I finally get to hear her real laugh. She laughs so hard at some of my stories that her eyes would fill up with tears. I love seeing her like this. I think for a moment about what we could do for the rest of the night. "Do you have FIFA?" I ask her. I suddenly feel stupid because she probably doesn't even know what FIFA is. Her face lights up. "Of coarse I have FIFA!" She tells me, excited. Wow, she really is perfect. "Michael and I used to play all the time." She explains to me, as she walks to the other side of the room. "But he never has time anymore." She looks down and turns on a game console and tv that I never even noticed.
She turns around and hands me a remote. I grab it and remember my injured hands. I stare at my bandaged hand, wondering if its even possible for me to play. She sits next to me and looks down at my hands too. "Luke youre hands! I completely forgot, Im so sorry.." I sigh. I really wanted to play FIFA. "Its okay, Brooke. We can do something else.." I say with no excitement in my voice. I set the remote down next to me and look at her, I cant help but have a sad look on my face. I sigh, and pull out my phone.
The first thing I check on my phone is Twitter, and Im taken aback by all the pictures of me in front of the hospital. "Fuck!..." I whisper loudly under my breath. Brookes gaze drifts over to me. "What is it?" My fingers turn white from gripping my phone so hard. My eyes flash up and down the screen, reading comments and tweets, spreading horrible rumors. Not only that, but people are saying horrible things about me, saying I dont care about my fans. My breaths become shaky, and my eyes sting with tears. "Luke, are you okay?" Brooke asks me. She comes closer to me and looks at my phone screen. "Oh my god!" She says, once she sees the photo. She looks up into my eyes and realizes that Im crying. I quickly wipe my eyes and hide my face in my hands. "Oh Luke... Dont worry about it. Its okay, everyone will forget about it." She gives me a tight hug and I put my face in her shoulder.
"I love you so much." I say, muffled into her white Vans shirt. She runs her fingers through my hair, "I love you too Luke." She kisses the top of my head, and I take shaky breaths. "Im so sorry that all of this happened to you." She whispers to me. "Its all my fault.." Her whipers sound like shes about to cry. I sqeeze her tighter. "No its not. Its mine." I assure her. "You wouldn't have been in the hospital if it wasnt for me." Shes close to crying. I sit up and look her in the eye. "But I wouldn't be here if it wasnt for you." I smile at her. "And Brooke, I dont want to go anywhere without you. I want you in my life, always. I want to protect you. Never forget that." She gives me a sad smile. We look into each others eyes until Michael knocks on the door. "Yeah?" Brooke asks. "Just saying goodnight! Goodnight Luke!" He says in a cheery voice. We both laugh. "Goodnight Michael!" We both say.
Brooke looks over at me. "Well, I guess we should be getting to sleep." She wipes the tears out of her eyes. "Where are you going to sleep?" I ask her, feeling awkward in her bed. She thinks for a minute before saying, "I never thought about that. I could sleep on the couch downstairs." She says, deep in thought. I look down. "Thats too far away." I see her smile out of the corner of my eye. "Hm. I could sleep on the floor next to you." She suggests. I feel bad, making her sleep on the floor. Especially since I will be staying here for a whole week. I continue to look down. "Thats too far away." I smile to myself at what I said. She giggles next to me. "Well then where do you suggest?" She says behind a wide smile. I grab her and pull her down next to me. We cuddle and talk for a few hours before we fall asleep, intertwined.
