Its been 3 days days since Brooke died. Its been 3 days since I left my bed. Its been 3 days since I've eaten. Its been 3 days since I looked at my phone. Its been 3 days since I smiled. Its been 3 days since I've seen my band. Its been 3 days since I felt anything.
I hear talking outside my bedroom door. "Liz, he hasn't been out since she died. And I don't recall him eating since then, either." I hear my dad say. "I know, I'm so worried about him. What do we do?" My mom asks him. He sighs. "Therapy maybe. What other choice do we have?" There's a long silence before my mom agrees. Therapy? Really? They think talking to a therapist is going to help? I punch my pillow and lay there for a few minutes, before getting up.
I open my door and my parents are at the end of the hall. They look at me in shock, wondering why I finally decided to get up. They start to become blurry and I get dizzy. I almost pass out from not moving or eating in so long. I catch myself in the wall, and get out of there before my parents can say anything.
I look around the kitchen. Im starving, but I can't eat. Its like, an emptiness that can't be filled. I finally give up and walk out the door. I don't know where im going, but I get in my car and drive. I blast the music as high as the cars speakers will go, and drive as fast as possible. Its 7pm, and its already dark.
I find my myself in Calums driveway, but I don't get out of the car. Instead, I stare at the sunset, and think about how much it reminds me of the orange shirt she wore, 3 weeks and 5 days before she died. And the grass reminded me of how she was so self conscious in that particular color. Calums house is the exact shade of blue as her eyes, it it was painful to look at. I rest my head on the steering wheel and cry uncontrollably. I see her everywhere I look. A small knock on the car window causes me to jolt up, and find Calum standing outside my car. I roll down the window. "Luke, what are you doing here?" He asks with concern in his voice and worry in his eyes. I look up at him. "I didnt know where else to go..." I admit. I wipe my stinging eyes. "Are you okay?" He asks. I think about my answer. "No. No, Calum. Im not." I look down. "For once in my life, I'm not okay." Calums seems to be at loss for words. "You can come in if you want." He says. I get out of the car and follow him inside. "Thanks." I say.
*
We get into Calums room and I sit on his old bed. His red blanket remind me of the red in the tips of Brookes hair. "Calum, I don't think I'll ever be okay again."
He looked at me with his big hopeful brown eyes. "Of coarse you will Luke. Think of it this way,
Remember last summer? It was so scorching hot, that we thought there was no way it could ever be cold again.
And last Winter? It snowed so hard, that we thought we'd never get another glimpse of the sun or feel another sunny day.
And when you were with Brooke, remember how happy you were? You thought you could never be sad ever again. Well Luke, it did get cold again, and it did get warm again, and you did get sad again.
And Luke,
You will be okay again."
