Today is the last day that Luke has to stay at my house, and I'm relieved that he's better but sad that he has to leave. I hadn't really thought about it, I just thought he would never leave. But I guess that everything has to go back to normal. I sigh and get out of the bed that Luke and I were laying in. "You okay babe?" He asks me. "Yeah, I'm just gonna miss you." My eyes begin to sting. I look down in attempt to hide my tears. "Aw babe," He stands up and hugs me. "It's gonna be okay."
I wipe my tears and we head downstairs. The boys are already packed up, and my stomache drops. I begin to feel a panic attack coming on. They cant leave so soon. I can't live without him. Any of them. I can't let my brother leave me again. Michael notices me and rushes over, he hugs me. "Brooke.." I push him back and look at him as if he's crazy. "You're leaving already?!" He opens his mouth to say something, but just closes it and looks down. Luke grabs my hand but I pull it away. "We have to go. You know that Brooke." Luke gives me a long kiss, probably the last one I will ever get.
The boys each hug me and suddenly they're gone.
A scary lonely feeling rushes over me.
I run up to my bedroom and sit on my bed. I stare at the gaming system that hasn't been used in years, collecting dust. Michaels favorite game was still inside. I stare at the picture of me and my friends from school. I haven't talked to them since the day I left. They never bothered to text me. I didn't text them either though. I stare at the collar of my old dog, sitting on my desk. He was the closest thing I had to a best friend. I'm starting to realize that everything I used to love is now gone.
I stare at my pills, the containers full. I hate them. I hate them. I bet that if I loved them, they would disappear too.
I have nothing to do. It's not like I can get into college, or get a good job. I don't have any friends either. I might as well not exist. All I am is a waste of space.
I pull out 2 pieces of paper. One for Michael, and one for Luke. I sharpen my pencil and start writing on Michaels piece of paper.
I stare at it for a good 10 minutes before I start writing, tears in my eyes as I do.
Dear Michael,
You are the best brother I could ask for. You helped me through so much, and I could never repay you. Don't remember me like how I have been for the last couple years. Remember me from when we were younger, we were best friends, and I was happy. I am no longer happy, and have no reason to live. You and Luke were the only reason why I didn't do this sooner, but now you are gone, just like everything else I love. This is not your fault. And please tell mom this is not her fault either.
Continue your music, because you are talented. You have something special. Ive always been jealous of you, Michael. Who wouldn't be?
I love you.
Brooke.
I fold up the paper and write Michaels name of the front as neat as I can, through blurry vision. I pull up Luke's paper and think long and hard about what to say.
Dear Luke,
As you could probably tell, I am not the happiest person. I wasn't always like this though, I used to be kind of like Ashton. But I just have no reason to live anymore. My life is headed nowhere, and everything I love is gone. Including you and Michael. I would have done this a while ago, but you and Michael were the only thing keeping me alive. Now that you're gone, I have nothing. Luke, you deserve a better and prettier girlfriend. I know that I am not good enough. I love you though. I always will.
Tell Ashton and Calum that they were amazing friends and I love them.
Continue your music.
I love you.
Brooke.
I look over at the pills, and grab all the containers. I realize I don't have water so I head downstairs. My mom is in the kitchen. "Hey hun, sorry that the boys had to leave." She says to me. I try not to cry, knowing that this is our last conversation. "Its okay." I grab a cup and fill it up with water. "I love you, mom." I give her a long hug and she says, "I love you too, Brooke." I start to tear up, so I run back up to my room. I place all the pills in my hands and take one at a time at first, but then start taking handfuls. After I've taken all the pills, I put my headphones in a blast Beside You. I hear Luke's voice and remember the night at the concert, when he sang this song and looked me in the eyes the whole time.
All the memories flash back, and for just a moment, I regret taking the pills. But its too late, and everything goes black.
