Afraid | Nikki Sixx

27.

Carly's POV

We all landed in Japan about 2 hours ago. We got here a day early so they can all look at the sights and relax before they start their year long tour. Right now, they're all out getting some alcohol and I'm on the tour bus.

I sighed and sat down at the table in the tour bus and grabbed my book bag. I brought this one just to put the stuff that I want in my reach right away. I brought out my Polaroid camera and then grabbed the pictures next to it. I flipped through them.

One was of my Mom and I, another was of just my Mom in the kitchen of my old house, there was one of my little sister and then one of my Dad and I from a few years ago. When I was 18. I felt my smile drop. I miss him. I wish he was better. He wasn't ever really big in my life, even when my Mom and Dad were together. They split up when I was 7 years old. He left and immediately married another woman, I got 2 step brothers right away. Then, I got another brother, then another, more recently I got 2 more sisters. It was way too much to handle. My Dad and his family aren't really apart of my life besides my Grandmother and Aunt.

I used to live in Maryland, but I wanted more opportunities, I wanted to break away from Maryland and I headed to California about 3 years ago. I miss my Mom a lot, she comes to visit along with my little sister around Christmas but, it's not enough for me. I don't have enough money to go back whenever I want.

I haven't seen my Dad in 3 years, he's mainly the reason why I moved. I got tired of him showing up at my house piss drunk all the time. I wanted to get away from him and I finally got away.

I flipped through some more random ones and then I came across one of my ex boyfriend and I together. I remember this day, my Mom took this picture of us kissing. I felt my stomach churn.

My ex and I, we dated on and off for years. He was my very first boyfriend and I loved him a lot. He made me believe that he loved me, too. He didn't. He wanted one thing from me, once he realized he wasn't gonna get it, he left me. It was extremely hard to get over him, he said so many sweet things and made me believe every single word. I quickly folded the picture up and walked over to the trash can and threw it away.

I sat back down at the table and started to mess with my camera. Taking pictures, writing and music are all my passion, but I can't really sing. I wanted to come to California to become a musician, but nerves got the best of me and I never went for it. I put all of my passions aside just so I could live, I couldn't live anywhere without getting a real job. So, that's what I did and I forgot all about my dreams.

I sighed and put my pictures and camera back in my bag. I looked around at the bus. I can't believe how much my life has changed in these months. I have an amazing boyfriend, I have 3 new friends, I'm on tour with them, I get to watch them live their dream all around the world. I smiled a little and grabbed my cigarettes and lit one, I leaned back against the booth.

"Fucking hurry up!" I heard faint voices from outside the bus. I laughed and stood up, I opened the door to the bus and saw Tommy standing there. "Oh, hey, Carls." He greeted me and then turned back to where he was looking. I followed his gaze and saw Vince, Mick and Nikki carrying the bags of alcohol. "Well, this would be a lot easier if you helped at all!" Nikki yelled. I laughed and took a puff of my cigarette.

When they all came over, I grabbed a bag from Nikki. "Hey, Beauty." He smiled. I smiled back and quickly kissed him. "Hi, babe." I said and walked back into the tour bus and sat the bag on the table. The boys followed and sat the bags on the couch and table. "Okay, you all ready to get fucked up?" Vince laughed.

(a/n: thanks beeb for helping me w this chapter, she brought to my attention that i haven't really gone much in depth with the main character in this story, so i hope you enjoyed! thank you so much for reading, please vote! it's greatly appreciated. feedback is always welcome! okay bye👻)