Right In Front of Me

Chapter 19

I left school once I left the cafeteria.

I gave some bullshit excuse to the school nurse so I could go home. It worked. I probably wasn't looking too good anyways so thank you John, you actually helped me some. I went home and just laid in bed the rest of the day.

I still didn't go to school today. I gave my parents a bullshit excuse to keep me home sick. I knew my mom didn't really believe me, but she didn't to try fight it. I'm still looking pretty horrible. Bags under my eyes. Flushed face from the crying. Glossy eyes. So, even if I'm not sick, I'm definitely not okay enough to go to school. I sure don't look it.

I've spent most of my day just watching random wildlife documentaries on Netflix. They are oddly calming. I've also indulged, a lot. I ate a carton of cookies 'n cream ice cream, a bag of potato chips, and a bunch of random snacks. I know I shouldn't, but when I'm upset, I tend to eat my feelings out.

I had to turn off my phone. Literally, it's like once it gets around that you've had sex, every guy wants you now. I have no clue how many texts and messages on social media I've gotten from guys, but it got overwhelming. Also, there were some hateful messages as well. Specifically, Lydia Johnson posted a nasty status about the "slut" at school that uses a guy for sex and dumps him. I knew it was about me. I couldn't handle it. I texted Kayla and said if she or any of our friends actually needed me, to just call my home phone. Both Kayla and Bailey did call to check up on me last night. I was grateful for that.

I'm in the middle of a documentary about artic animals when I hear the doorbell. I have a feeling it's Kayla. She told me yesterday she would stop by and check in on me. I pause the documentary and get up to answer the door. I was right, Kayla is standing there with two milkshakes in her hands as I open the door. "I got them from Clark's. Had them make it to go. I thought you'd like a good milkshake."

"Thank you," I smile and take the milkshake as I let her inside. We go and sit on the couch in the living room.

"How are you doing?" she asks.

I shrug helplessly. How am I doing? I'm doing horrible. John went and spread our intimate life around literally within hours after breaking up with him. It was utterly humiliating. But worst of all, I thought Mason would maybe put whatever anger he had behind and come and hang out with me. Ask how I was. Comfort me. He has to know I need him. He always just knows. But if I'm completely honest, I think I'm hurting more now because he isn't around.

Kayla gives my arm a reassuring squeeze, knowing I'm not doing okay at all, "I'm sorry, Laur."

"It's okay," I say still. Because Kayla has done everything she could and more. Making sure I'm okay. Stood up for me in front of everyone. She never once judged me. She's been there for me the whole time.

I'm practically done with this chocolate milkshake. Damn, it's good. I'm getting a brain freeze though. Maybe I need to slow down on the indulging a bit.

"Mason asked me how you were today," Kayla says, causing me to snap my head up very quickly. I started to feel angry though. He could talk to Kayla, but not to me? He could have asked him damn self.

"He couldn't ask himself?" I spit out.

"Well," she starts. "I think he knows you wouldn't be happy with him right now." I look at her in utter confusion. Of course I'm not happy. But I'd be happy to see him. But I have a feeling it's about something else. So what is it about exactly? Kayla knows I'm about to ask why I wouldn't be, so she continues. "He got into a fight. With John."