Unconditional Love (Book #2)

Chapter 3

~*Jade*~

I sat back in the wheelchair as the nurse rolled me down the hall. I been in the hospital for three days and I leave tomorrow. As of right now I was going to see my son. I been holding it off since I heard of his condition but now I'm ready to see him.

   "Are you scared?" The nurse asked.

She was a cool nurse. She had a caramel skin tone and had short hair. She was tall and she was very pretty.

   "I'm just scared Robyn like what if he too little and fragile? I'm just so scared." I said as we went through some doors and then I saw many tiny babies in incubators.

My nerves really got the best of me because I saw a lot of mothers just sitting there looking at their defenseless child. Robyn didn't say anything else as I guess we got closer. We stopped in front of an incubator that was kind of in the back of the large open space.

   "You can stand up to get a better look if you want too." Robyn encouraged me.

I stood up slowly and looked inside the incubator. My heart crushed as I seen all the cords and things hooked up to my son. He was only in a pamper as cords were placed in or on his body from left to right. I could tell that he had a hard time breathing the way his chest rose and fell violently. I hate to say this but my son looked dead. Closed eyes, little to no movement and skin just so pale and thin.

   "How much he weigh?" I asked trying to keep the tears at bay.

   "1 pound 8 ounces." She said softly.

I was done right then and there. I sat back in the wheelchair and the tears unleashed themselves. I asked Robyn to take me back to my room. I couldn't handle seeing my child like that.

When we got to the room I saw Drew waiting on me. I slowly got back into bed as Robyn left the room. I looked at Drew and wiped my tears.

   "This is all my fault." I said looking at the ceiling.

   "No its no-"

   "Yes the fuck it is! The goddesses were right Drew. They were right."

   "How?"

   "I did kill somebody Drew and I'm not as innocent as y'all think."

Drew sat forward and looked at me. I wanted to look away but right now I had to tell the truth.

   "Elaborate for me."

   "I really wasn't a virgin Drew. I was lyin' to you and everyone around me because I didn't want to seem like a hoe."

   "I don't understand."

I closed my eyes and then opened them.

   "I was a fast tail girl. I was the type of girl that when I turned 13 I thought I was grown. I met this nigga named Kamel that was 16 and I told him I was 16. We started messing around but then he wanted more like a relationship. I just wanted sex and to have fun. He broke up with me and I got with his 17 year old brother named Kaden. I got pregnant with Kaden baby and he thought I was lyin' about him being the father."

I laughed at the memory then focused my attention back to the story I was telling.

   "So I'm just under the three month mark and he get with my best friend at the time RoRo. I get mad because he left me pregnant and alone then get with my best friend. Like thats not something you do. I was so into my emotions that I killed him and RoRo as they were in bed together. They never saw it coming and neither did I even though I killed them. When I realized that I wasn't gon' have a baby daddy I aborted the baby. I guess that one abortion messed me up for life because now I can't have kids and the one I do got was born three months early." I said then shook my head.