about time (GxG)

Twenty two

trigger warning: they will be mention of suicide and dark thoughts

Ruby's p.o.v

Everything was normal today, seeing caramel and riding with her to school,the football practice was good and i had time to ask Jin for an advice on how I should ask the girl I love for a date.

We were giggling because Jin knew instantly who the girl is and told me that she could smell the love in the air every time I look at her, and all of a sudden I was wrapped in a hug,her scent of chamomile enveloping me,her head was on mine and the impact was stuck in my ears, tears fell down way before my brain could process the situation. The sound of metal being thrown on the ground and my caramel followed.

the cafeteria fell in deathly silence only a mournful scream was heard,it took me a moment to know it came from me. She was laying there with a blank look,her soft golden eyes looking into mine unfocused,Jin's voice calling for help ,and the cafeteria blew with voices,but all I can hear is the impact that was made on her head,I held her shoulders lifting her from the filthy floor,her strawberry blonde locks are blood red now,her blood spilled on the floor,on my hands and her hair. I couldn't  breathe. Is this the moment I'll lose her? My brain and heart were in different paths. I couldn't hold it anymore,a scream came out from my heart, the principal and teachers came running,Dita came running to her side,it was too late,her beautiful eyes were closed now and I was paralyzed next to her.

 all i felt is pure anger, anger toward faith, toward the bastard that hit her even toward her. how could she do this to me? i cannot live without her. i sprinted to the bastard who stood there shocked, i run toward him and punched him with all the strength i have , soon he was on the floor me on top of him continuously punching him "you took her away from me!" i screamed . his face now is fractured and my knuckles are bleeding but i felt nothing but the pain in my heart. 

next thing, my caramel was put in the stretcher surrounded with paramedics.i just stood there ,blood pouring from my hands, eyes fixed on my best friend's frail body. my heart stopped and squeezed every time my mind reminds me that she took the hit instead of me, every time it blame me for how she is now. it should be me! i deserve that! she doesn't !  

A hand shook my shoulders, i blinked to clear my vision " come on we need to follow the ambulance to the hospital!" Dita yelled, her eyes are frantic and you can clearly see the worry and panic on her face and shaky hands . 

Lucille and mom came running inside the ICU, her frantic look and tears streaming down her cheeks, i felt guilt, i couldn't look them in their faces , if she wasn't so protective of me, she wouldn't be here fighting for her life. if she didn't know me , she wouldn't suffer the bully with me, she would've been safe! 

my mom came to me inspecting my wrapped in  bandages hands, i can see her mouth moving yet i couldn't focus and my mind didn't bother to understand her. my gaze was fixed on the ER door, waiting for the mournful news of my love's death. maybe it's my time to end it all too. what's the point in living in a world where my sun will never shine? 

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two hours is what took the doctors to stop the inner bleeding and stabilize her condition; but they couldn't  stop her from falling into a coma state. by now, i feel like there is nothing I'm wishing for more than to see her beautiful eyes open again. my fears of losing her any minute made me stuck next to her room despite the protests from my mom or Lucille. what kind of friend i am if i left her here alone? what kind of friend i am if i always  impose danger to her? 

Lucille informed me that the guy who hit her will go to jail since he is 18 years old and she will personally  make sure of it;she earned a dense nod from me like everyone else who tried to contact with me after the incidence.

it was suddenly grey life for me after a long time living in colorful world, it scares me,it makes me feel alone and sick in my stomach.

i can't live in a world without caramel in it.......

i can't live without her .....