there's a hole in my heart that i can't seem to fill, i feel so down that i haven't get out of my room for over three days. i know in my mind,that i shouldn't be acting like this, i'm a 24 years old woman that should be strong enough to stand up and suck it up... but i can't.
the reason why i came here was wrong, i was selfish and i was expecting that everything will go as i wanted but the truth is... no matter what i did, the consequences won't change. and it hurt like hell to realize that i lost many years of my life and a chance to change the world just to get this!... to get a heartbreak, from someone i loved so much that i let myself melt within them.
it hurt how much destiny played me. i left my grandpa behind, the only one that actually loves me, i left my future and most of all so is my twenties to go back in time, and start all over again. and for what? to gain her love first? to use my knowledge and fix the unfixed?
nothing worked eventually and here i am moping around, heart chattered and hormones unbalanced.
" oh God! what is this smell?" Harriet voice came after she burst in my room, i hid my disgusting face in my pillow trying to hide my shame too.
" goo awayyyy" i yelled muffled with the pillow. she simply ignored me and walked to open the black curtains, i hiss from the sun light like a vampire, hiding more in my pillows.
" listen bitch, you better get your bum up and get a looong shower,make sure you are using aunt Lucille's homemade soaps and shampoos, you will wear some good clothes and you will walk out of the door, head high and meet me in our usual restaurant" she command " and don't you dare keep me waiting, or you will experience my newly found powers" i groaned louder, remembering that she found out about her magic way too early and it's all because of my stupid ass.
she walk away leaving me grumbling .i get up begrudgingly, dragging my battered self to the shower " fuck, i look like a homeless" i cursed, catching glimpse of my greasy hair and puffy eyes in the bathroom mirror. ' is this how it feels like to break up with Ruby Rose?' i wondered.. i wouldn't even call it a break up.. it was more like a mild, harsh rejection after thinking that you both like each other and will get you in a happy ending situation. it seems like i'll never see her again... this deep sinking feeling of cut cords inside me.
but i admit, staying drowned in my stinky smell and tears was only making me feel worst than i already feel, the smell of fresh lavender in my hair, and the light camomille whiff in the soap makes me see clearer. it made me forget my feelings and just enjoy the nice scents surrounding me.. for a little while. getting out from the shower, walking to my room. i now know just how bad it smelt, cringing before opening the window and lighting few essences on the way to choose what i should wear.
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the sun is too bright outside, it's weird how irritating it feels to see everything is normal outside but you just can't recognize that feeling anymore! choosing to walk a short cut, that don't have happy people walking by me . i don't belong here... i feel so alone, too fucked up and it's my fault. i should have never expect so much.. i should have never put my happiness in somebody's hand... because they will chatter me like fine china. and i'm the one to blame. she likes her girlfriend... for now, she will do the things she meant to do, and feel the things she meant to feel... maybe even forget about me when she gets the chance to leave here . and maybe i should do the same, maybe i should accept the consequences of my foolishness and focus on my career... maybe even become a workaholic and drown myself and my feelings in work and carrer making... till i get the chance to go back to my time.... or even punish myself and stay all those years, trapped in a time not mine, doing things that i haven't come here to do. to watch from the shadows , and mind my own business this time.
an eerie feeling is slowly eating in me, i don't know what it is but it made me go back to reality and focus on my surroundings, footsteps can be heard from behind me and thats where i turned to see two very familiar faces, yet unpleasant to see ... although,they look too emo than i remember them to be? Lisa has that trendy blonde bang and Jessica has her hair seriously teased (fandom don't come at me... this is a work of fiction... you can skip this chapter if you feel uncomfortable)
" so you're the witch that has been stuck with ruby like a leach " i didn't know who spoke cause i was trying to fast walk away from them and out of this oddly empty street?
" she probably had her enchanted all these years, no wonder how mad she was , when she saw her spell has been broken" they both giggle , making a shiver go down my spine from fear, i was outnumbered if they decided to fight me,and i did not want to reply to them at all. i was now scared for my life, i feel so much danger oozing from them... i just wanted to be away from them. one thing i learned from my years here, is that they are very dramatic,and like to claim people like a territory.
Lisa suddenly cornered me , while Jessica revealed a sort of grimoire, my eyes widening but i can't seem to be able to move " don't bother, i nailed your steps witch" she said smirking, i didn't even know that this is possible. but obviously i'm not the only one who is a witch here, the others are two crazy twins who will probably curse me.
Jessica starts to mumble a spell that i didn't recognize, and both of them joined , i try to speak....maybe even beg for mercy. tears are running down my cheeks while i silently pray to the Gods to not die ' please, i don't want to die now' i begged whoever is listening in my mind. they yell the last words of their spell, while my entire body is shaking from fear and from an unknown forces. the last thing they did was to hit me in the head with a cursing stone that made me slowly seep into blackness and the unknown .
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pls don't come at me the veronicas fandom... it's just my crazy imagination
