Stylist {j.h} A BTS Fanfiction - ON HIATUS

십칠

Him

My next day off didn't happen for nearly a week. It felt amazing to do nothing after several days of rapid-fire scheduling. I wandered my way around the grounds of the hotel, lingering near the tree and bench that I had started referring as our bench. I sighed as I passed it on my way to a small rise that overlooked a private stretch of beach. It had been the first step down this unpredictable, exciting path. 

I kicked a pebble on the path with the toe of my sandal. Everything had been going by so fast. Being here with my members and filming around the island had made so many new memories- all of which were unforgettable and hilarious. I  would never forget the times spent here and on stage with my friends. BTS had become such a huge part of who I was. I grimaced at the thought of living a life without them. I would definitely not be where I was today. 

I kicked another pebble stubbornly. I was too deep in thought to pull out now.

My train of thinking switched tracks. What would happen to the group when Jin enlisted? Imagining Jin in a uniform wiped my smile from my face. With Jin gone, we would be incomplete. Broken. It would be years before all of us returned from duty to continue as a whole group again. Would that even happen afterwards? Would ARMY wait for us? Would we be forgotten in the time we spent serving? 

I switched to thinking of the time before we were famous, before we had made a name for ourselves. Those were safer thoughts. Looking back on the days days prior to debut seemed like looking in on another world. The days spent in a cramped practice room felt like it had happened decades ago and to a completely different person. The pressure of knowing that everything was riding on your success as a group- as a company- was a lot for seven boys to take on. The task of keeping everyone's spirit and moral up during those turbulent and painful times felt like they belonged to a different J-Hope, not me. 

I hummed to a vaguely familiar tune that I didn't remember the name of as my conscience chastised me.

'Hoseok, come on. Live now, not in the past! You are literally living the life you dreamed of as a trainee. Enjoy it!'

I laid down in a patch of sunshine and stared up at the clouds. Life seemed so much more simple when one didn't have to do much. It let you think for a second and just put life on pause. 

I absently wondered what Hiroko and the boys were up to. Was she out exploring with her friends? Were the other members out at the beach or shopping? 

As if sensing that I was thinking of the group, Jimin's cheerful face bobbed into the edges of my view. A wide grin split his face as he spotted me on the grass. He started running. Just as he crested the top of the small incline, he tucked in his legs and rolled down the side of the hill. He came to a bumpy stop next to me. His frizzy hair had bits of grass sticking out. I laughed a hard, belly-aching laugh. He gave me a puzzled look as he laid down next to me.

"What are you laughing at, hyung?"

I could barely get the words out. "Your hair," 

He scrunched up his face and tried to look at his hair. "Hmm. You looked pretty deep in thought before I found you, hyung. What were you thinking about?"

I shrugged. "Nothing important. I just have a lot on my mind."

He rolled over so his chin was balanced on his palm. He picked a blade of grass from his bangs and frowned at it. "What about? Do you want to talk about it?"