Stylist {j.h} A BTS Fanfiction - ON HIATUS

이십오

Her

I shut the door behind me and heave out a sigh of relief. 'I'm home at last.' I lean up against it and sink to the floor. I rubbed my face with a hand and just sit and breathe. Jina had been in a terrible mood and had brought down the staff's energy and emotions the entire day. I was barely two days into working with the woman and was already sick of hearing her pinching voice in my ears.

I sat contentedly on the floor, enjoying the quiet of my small apartment. It was nice to be able to hear myself think again. I checked my watch. 6:21 PM. I shifted against the door. It was time for the video chat with my therapist back in Kyoto. I reluctantly got up from my spot on the carpet and wandered into where I kept my laptop on my kitchen bar. 

Sliding into the stool's wooden seat, I booted up the laptop. I enjoyed being able to continue talking with my therapist. It was nice to have someone from home to talk to about what was going on in my life without having to filter out what was really troubling me. 

A few clicks later and I was waiting to log in to the website we used to video call. I hesitated, however. 'Should I tell her about Hoseok?' It would be nice to have someone who would keep what I said actually private. I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. 

'I should really tell her. She'd like to know, anyways.' I thought. It's not healthy to start hiding things from your therapist. You talked to them to open up and I definitely needed more practice with that. 

I logged into the site and hit the call icon. A few moments later, a familiar face popped up on my screen. 

"Hello, Hiroko. How have you been this week?" An older woman with an understanding smile moved on screen. Doctor Suzuki kept her greying black hair in a low swept bun and a sleek steel set of glasses perched on her wide nose. She was handsome in an aging way and kept her face clear of makeup products. She had been my therapist since I had first sought out help back home in Japan. 

I smiled, feeling the tension in my shoulders relax. "Hello, Doctor Suzuki. I've been good. I got a new assignment in my workplace and it's been a bit hard adjusting to the environment." I said, feeling a slight blush creep up my neck. 

Doctor Suzuki's dark eyes crinkled around the edges as she smiled sympathetically. "Changing work is always hard. Have you been able to keep up with it while traveling?"

I shrugged. "It's been hard. I'm not used to flying this much so I've been more tired lately than I usually am." I stared at the camera for a long moment, trying to decide on how to bring up Hoseok. "There's something else that came up." I twisted my hands nervously. 

She arched an eyebrow. "Is it triggering memories of your past?" She leaned closer to the screen. A notepad and pen appeared on screen. I felt comforted that she was taking notes for this. It was good to have things to refer back on and I was terrible at keeping brutally honest notes of my own.  

"It's more like someone," I said, "But not in a bad way." She looked suspicious but nodded for me to continue. 

"I met him through my new job. I'm a makeup stylist now and the client I'm assigned with is someone who makes me feel like I did before-" my mouth twisted sourly before I could say anything more.

"It's okay, Hiroko. You can continue. I know what you're talking about." Doctor Suzuki said calmly. She didn't want to spook me into an anxiety attack. That had happened before on a video call. It hadn't ended well. 

I took a deep breath in and released it slowly. I closed my eyes and focused.

"Good, Hiro. Keep breathing and focusing on control. Why don't you tell me about this person?" 

I nodded, trying to keep my mind focused.  I kept my eyes closed as I talked. "Okay. Ah, he's about 25 centimeters taller than me. He likes to tease and pull pranks on his friends. He likes to do the unexpected and makes you feel like you're the only one in the room." 

I realized that my voice had grown very soft. I kept talking. The words flowed from my mouth, unstoppable. "I think my favorite thing about him is his smile. He always finds a way to push through the bad and find something to be happy about. It makes me realize how much I've missed trying to be happy." 

I open my eyes and focus back on the screen. Doctor Suzuki is smiling warmly. "He sounds wonderful."

"He is," I said in a quiet voice. One more day until I could see him again. 

"I'm glad he's made you happy again. It's nice to see you so relaxed." She said. "Well, when do you want to schedule next week's call?" 

I shook myself from my daze. Had it been an hour already? My unfocusedness must have lasted longer than I realized. "Um, let me grab my calendar. It gets a little crazy soon with the company doing concerts again next month." 

I moved to stand but Doctor Suzuki stopped me. "If it's easier, we can do it over the phone and you can just call me. I'll keep my secretary informed to keep a flexible schedule next week for whenever your call comes in."

I beamed. "Really? That'd be wonderful." 

She nodded. "I will look forward to your call. Have a nice evening, Hiroko."

"Thank you, Doctor," I said before signing off. I closed my laptop and rubbed my eyes sleepily. I shuffled over to my bed, drained from the day's efforts. I sluffed off my shoes and crawled under the covers in my clothes from work. I buried myself in the warm comforts of my blankets and fell asleep.