Just Us ✔️

Jealous Much?

*JONAS*

I hated that she was so pissed at me. I hated that she wanted nothing to do with me. I hated that I made her feel like she wasn't good enough because the truth is that she was perfect. She was everything I wanted, but I pushed her away. I pushed her away because she knew me. The real me. She knew that I loved superheroes, she knew that after my gram gram died, I was lost and so upset. I let her in, I let her break down my walls. That's why I pushed her away that night. And now I hated myself for doing it. I hated that I didn't fight for her. I hated that I gave up. I hated that I let her go.

Vikki stirs beside me in bed as she snuggles closer to my body. She wraps an arm around my waist and lays her head on my chest. I continue to lie awake in my bed unable to fall asleep, unable to stop thinking about Lacey. I was getting irritated with myself. Why couldn't she just leave my mind? I didn't understand.

I'm jerked away from my thoughts when then end table in the living scrapes against the floor. I hear Lacey chuckling and giggling like a school girl. I coulda swore she was drunk. I slip out of Vikki's grip and head to the door, I was gonna make sure she didn't hurt herself in her drunken state.

When I open my door and start down the hallway I can hear two voices whispering, and make out two figures entering Lacey's room. My blood boiled at the sight. She brought someone home. I didn't even know she went out. I made my way over to her room. Just as I was about to walk in I heard a light moan escape her lips.

My heart sank. I take a deep breath and run my hands through my hair before leaning against wall opposite of her door. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. I didn't know why I felt like this. She can do whatever she wants. She's an adult now. But I didn't want her to do what she wanted, I didn't want her hanging out and dating other boys. I didn't want her to be with anyone else.

Because it would kill me knowing someone else was making her happy. I groan as I hear her laughing and giggling inside her room. I hated it. I hated hearing her laughing with someone else. I hated her being happy with anyone else but me.

I hesitantly make my way back to my room and go back to bed. Once I slid in under to covers. Vikki opens her eyes.

"Hey you okay baby?" She asks in a sleepy voice.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Can you not sleep?"

"No there's a lot on my mind. I'm just thinking is all. Go back to sleep babe I'm fine"

She smiles sweetly at me before placing a quick kiss on my lips and laying her head back on my chest. Soon after she's fast asleep again. And I'm stuck lying awake sleepless.

Since that kiss at the Halloween party. I hadn't stopped thinking about her, or the kiss. The way her lips felt on mine, and they way her body perfectly fit into mine. Or the way she made me feel when we kissed. Everything just felt right. And I blew it.

She's everything I need and everything I want. She knew everything about me. But what she didn't know, was that after she left I was depressed. I didn't like not being able to see her everyday. She didn't know that I now hated apples, because seeing them reminded me of the way her shampoo always smelt. She didn't know how many times I wrote a text and then deleted it.

She didn't know how much I missed her when she was gone. She didn't know how much I thought about her. No scratch that, how much I think about her daily. She didn't know how I felt about her.

Oh shit

I needed to tell her how I felt before the wedding. But I don't want to give her a reason to hate me even more. I can't stand not seeing her smile. I love her smile. I love the way she crinkles her nose when she tries not to laugh. I love the way she bites her lip when she's nervous. I love the way she loves root beer. I love the way her laugh fills up a room. I love her determination to get things done. I love the way she looks when she's asleep. So quiet, so peaceful, so beautiful. I love how she doesn't care what people think of her. I love everything about her. I love everything she is. I love her.

God I'm in trouble.

Is it possible to have feelings for two people at the same time? Is it possible to love two people?

I had Vikki and I was happy. Wasn't I?

But the way Lacey made me feel. I couldn't get that from anyone else. No one else could make me feel the way she did. does. Every time she looks at me, even with the glare, she still makes my heart jump. But I always see the hurt and pain in her eyes. She truly hated me and wanted nothing to do with me.

What am I going to do?

I love Vikki.

I love Lacey.

Vikki.

Lacey.

I groan and rub my face with my hands. I couldn't handle this. I really needed to stop thinking about her. Even if I wasn't engaged, I wouldn't stand a chance. I blew my one shot with her.

I glance over a Vikki who is still sound asleep. She was gorgeous, she was super sweet, and smart. And she always puts others before herself. I didn't know what part of her I fell in love with. All I knew was that she loved me. And she made me happy. She made me forget everything that's ever happened. She made me remember the good things. She made me be true to myself, she helped me come out of my shell.

But Lacey made me whole, she made me feel. She made me human. She made it so I could trust again. She broke me. She made me weak, and vulnerable whenever she was around, whenever she smiles at me. I felt the world melt away when we were together. I felt complete.

I didn't know what to do or what to say but I knew I needed to talk to Lacey before it was to late. I didn't want to miss my shot again.