Long Way Home (5SOS)

Chapter Seventeen

Aspen

Having Summer back in the house hasn't exactly been my cup of tea. We have been fighting more lately. I've also been fighting with the boys, and my sister's. The only people who talk to me are Alex, Justin, and Chris (I would say Mason but he went back to America early). Everyone is blaming me for what happened with Summer. If I say that, those words aren't getting to me, I am lying. I have become more depressed, which results in me cutting more.

I  haven't been leaving my room, except to leave the house, or go to the bathroom, kitchen, and music room. I haven't been sleeping well in a while, so I have very noticable bags under my eyes. I have also been eating less, and because of that I've lost 4 pounds.

I sit on the floor of the music room, just strumming my guitar, when I hear a knock on my door. My head flies up, and I see Tierney standing outside the door. I motion for her to come in. She walks in and shuts the door, locking it. She sits on my cajon across the room from me. I continue strumming the chords to a song I had written over the course of the week. I start to sing the lyrics as quiet as possible.

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted                                I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted

And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all

The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone
I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone
And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around

It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long

It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

If today I woke up with you right beside me
Like all of this was just some twisted dream
I'd hold you closer than I ever did before
And you'd never slip away
And you'd never hear me say

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all
No, I'm really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
'Cause I'm really not fine at all

Once I finish I look up and notice Tierney left. I shrug and stand up, leaning my guitar against the wall. I walk out of my music room, walking to my room. I walk over to my bed and grab my phone. I unlock it and open up keek. I decide to make one, since I haven't uploaded one since the day we left for Australia. I click on the film button and start talking

"Hey guys, long time no see. I will be fliming a Q&A so tweet out the has- SHIT" I was cutoff midsentence by toppling down the stairs. I stand up and see I have 15 seconds left.

"Tweet out the hashtag #AskAspen and I will answer your questions! Feel free to ask questions for any of the boys and girls also! Okay I have 5 seconds BYE" I say to my phone. I upload it and tweet out the link to the keek.

I walk out to the living room ignoring everyone and sit down on my bean bag. I see that they are watching the Notebook. I curl up into a ball and watch the movie. I soon begin to feel sleepy, and sleep takes over my body

**************************************

Hello! Short update, sorry I don't feel well. I hope you enjoyed.

Peace, chicken grease, nipples

              -Emily