Marlboro Lights (Larina) Marina and The Diamonds and Lana Del Rey

You

*LANA'S POV*

The kiss keeps reeling in my mind like a broken record repeating the same line of lyrics over and over again. The feeling of her lips on mine keeps throwing me into a euphoria. After I pulled away to look at her she just turned around and unlocked the door with no words spoken. I didn't know what to do so I just followed her into the room and watched her silently. Her lips didn't move but her eyes were full of thought running at a hundred miles per hour.

She begins to change into pajamas so I do the same, making sure I keep watch of her in my peripherals. Before I pull up my pajama shorts Marina saunters over to the kitchen and pulls out a cork remover from one of the many wooden drawers. She opens the wine bottle with a loud pop and brings the large bottle to her lips, gulping in the alcohol.

There's so many things I want to say right now but the fact that she hasn't said a word infuriates me. Out of the reactions she could've had from that kiss she does the one that shows no reply.

*MARINA'S POV*

I take one last swig of the wine and close my eyes as I feel the burn melt my throat then stomach.

I know what I have to face when I open my eyes so I keep them closed.

I know this is exactly what I wanted, Lana is everything to me. So why am I so fucking scared now that it has happened?

I'm grateful that Lana is so patient with me so I take a couple more seconds to gather my thoughts and open my eyes.

I hadn't noticed that Lana has crossed the room and was standing only a foot away from me. Waiting.

"Lana." I breath.

"Tell me what's on your mind Marina. I'm dying wondering what's going on in that head." She practically vomits out the words as if she's been holding it in or so long.

I eye the wine bottle craving more but knowing I shouldn't have started drinking it in the first place. After a beat of silence I look up and begin.

"Lana, I want you. I need you. I seriously don't know how I've lasted so long alone and hating myself and now I have you to fill the void. You're like the sunrise on a new day, shining rays of light and illuminating the Earth after being so dark....but" Lana's eyes have been soft and lovingly staring back into mine but immediately fill with worry once I say that last word.

I breath and continue "but.... I'm just scared Lana. I'm scared I'll lose you. I'm scared I'll do something to fuck everything up and ruin what we have. I don't wanna be alone but I don't want to hurt you Lana. I'll do anything for you I just don't want to ruin it. I-" she cuts me off but wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into her chest.

"Shhh shhh" She coos as tears begin to fall and soak into her shirt. I feel her place a small kiss on the top of my head. The situation brings me back to that hotel room when I held her and comforted her as she broke down.

"Marina sometimes you can't stop and blame yourself about things. You can't go around overthinking and doubting things. When you know you want it just go for it."

I look up at her "I don't wanna fuck up"

She smiles "Do you understand what you've done? You're the reason that Chris is probably going to prison. You saved me Marina."

She takes my silence to add on to her statement. "Marina no one told you you had to help me. You did it all yourself. You decided you were gonna save me and you did."

I want to say something but no words come out of my mouth. She's right. I changed her life. I put that piece of shit boyfriend in jail where he belongs. The sudden epiphany hits me like a big yellow school bus.

"You know I'm right. Admit it." She giggles.

"Mhmm" I barely mumble.

"No no Marina I wanna hear you say it." She takes me by the shoulders to get a good look at me.

I narrow my eyes. "You're right Lana."

"Good you can't underestimate yourself." She turns, grabs the bottle of wine and takes a few swigs.

My whole little emotional episode distracted me from what is really happening. Damn I'm a wreck.

"Lana." She removed the bottle from her lips.

I eye her longingly knowing exactly what I'm gonna do to her. "I know what it is I want."

She raises an eyebrow suspiciously. "And what's that?"

I close the space between us and lay my arms on her shoulders, I can feel her breath hitch. "I think you know." I lean in closer grazing my lips against her jawline.

"Who's says I'm gonna fight back?" She breaths as she raises her chin to allow me better access to her sensitive skin.

Her hands snake down and cup my bottom, pulling me closer to her body. I pull my hands away from her hair to push her down onto the table, I sit on her waist with my hands on both side of her head holding me up as I look down at her.

"Lana are you sure you want me?" I hate myself for questioning this. I'm fucking on top of her for crying out loud! What the fuck is wrong with me?

Lana's eyes shut and the corner of her lips pull up into the brightest smile. She grabs the collar of my shirt and pulls me in to continue what we've begun.