Marlboro Lights (Larina) Marina and The Diamonds and Lana Del Rey

7 Years

I wake up with small arms wrapped around me. These arms feel secure unlike the arms I'm used to that hold me with force. I turn and see Marina's tear stained face peacefully asleep.

Why did she cry? I know she must care for me if she comforted me, but why would she care in the first place? I have no earthly idea why Marina took so much interest in me. I'm this fucked up girl who gets slapped around. She must pity me. Yeah that's it. Marina must think I'm some basket case that happened to vacation here, and she'll help me cause she just pities me.

I couldn't take having her arms wrapped around me anymore. Although her presence felt amazing when I broke down, it felt like someone actually cared for me, I couldn't take her being there if she just feels sorry for me.

I carefully unwrap Marina's arms from around my waist, trying my best not to wake her. Unfortunately, her eyes flutter open. They scan the room then make their way up to my face. I can see her stealing glances at the bruising on my face.

"Hey" I whisper.

She cracks the tiniest smile. "Hey.....how are you feeling?"

I need to get her out of here. Marina can take her pity elsewhere.

"I'm okay. Thank you for everything." I mumble, Trying my best to not look at her. Her features are so soft, giving her a youthful look. And yet, she an somehow manages to look so beautiful, even when her eyes are filled with sleep.

"Hey look," she says trying to capture my attention. I can't help but look at her chocolate eyes. "I'm gonna fix this Lana, you can't be treated like this any longer. You deserve the best and I'm gonna do everything in my power to put you back together."

Put me back together?

Fix what?

"Marina, I don't know what you're trying to do here. I don't think I need you to fix anything." I explain.

"What? Lana don't you realize what's going on? You were just sobbing about it." Marina exclaims

"Chris hits me. But I deserve it. I shouldn't have questioned him about the boat." Why doesn't she get it?

"Lana, does Chris love you?" She randomly asks.

Is that even a question? "Yes, he does."

"You may think Chris loves you Lana, but that isn't true love. If you love someone that doesn't mean you hurt them physically or mentally. Love isnt supposed to hurt. When you love someone you cherish them and protect them. Even from themselves. Your whole world is consumed by them. Just the thought of them gives you butterflies, not fear. Lana, you're not supposed to be scared of love. You're supposed to welcome it and let it consume your mind and body. Christopher's love isn't pure. It's corrupt and entitled. You can't suffer through that Lana. I'm not gonna let you suffer from it anymore, You need someone who really loves you and will put their soul into you. " Marina's voice broke, she took a deep breath then looked back up at me.

Her little speech left me feeling like I was just hit by a train. Chris does this because I deserve it. You're supposed to obey and not question the person you love, right? "Chris hits me to teach me that I should listen. He does it cause he loves me."

She shook her head. "No Lana, you're not a child, it doesn't work like that. You're a grown beautiful woman. He's not your father. You know he could be arrested if the authorities knew about this."

I never thought of that. I mean, I knew it but I never put two and two together. "Yeah....."

Marina rose her hands to grab mine but I flinched away. I didn't mean to flinch I....I couldn't help it.

Her features turned soft. "Like I said Lana, love doesn't hurt."

I turned to her shocked, remembering what I told her this morning at the beach.

I couldn't believe it. For the past 7 years I've been with Chris. For the past 7 years I've endured him forcing himself upon me and hitting me for speaking my mind. He's doubted my devotion to him and mentally belittled me. However, there's no way I could doubt his devotion. Who does he come home to everynight? Well most nights. He's supported and provided for me. How can I question that? "But he loves me Marina, I don't doubt it."

Her face got hard and serious. "He may love having you but he doesn't love you" she looked at my eyes. It seemed like she can see everything I thought with them.

I shook my head trying to get back to reality. "Marina, why are you helping me?"

She looked dismayed. As if I just told her her hamster died or something. "Why wouldn't I? No one deserves to be treated like this Lana. You deserve better."

"But why? Why do you take some much interest in me? Don't you pity me?" I pushed further.

She looked at me hurt, almost angrily. She thought hard then sighed, becoming relaxed again. "I'm not doing this cause I feel bad for you Lana. You're not some Dr. Phil case. I'm doing it Lana because you need someone who will love you for eternity. Who will love every little thing about you. From the freckles on your stomach to the deepest depth of your eyes. You deserve everything Lana."

"And you think you can give me that?"

Marina just looks at me, her smile gleaming.. "I know I can."