Be With me so Happily

Chapter 23.

Mia~

Tomorrow is Louis’ birthday and since he’s spending it with us, he’s spending today at his moms with his family. We’re all cleaning the house today, including Zayn and Niall because they’re here as much as I am. We’ll have party for him, spend the night here, do Christmas morning together then split for the rest of the day. Zayn and I were currently working on the kitchen, Liam and Harry in the living room and who knows where Bea and Niall have gone off too.

“Z, I need to talk to you.” I stopped what I was doing to look at my best friend.

“Well, here I am, talk.” He didn’t look up; I know he wasn’t mad, just focused.

“No, like we need to go somewhere, somewhere no one can hear us.” That stopped him, he looked questioningly and nodded.

“Okay, when?”

“We can offer to go pick up lunch, no one is cooking in here now, and we’ll talk then.” He nodded again and went back to cleaning the cabinets. Around noon, everyone was ready for a break so we took the opportunity and ran with it.

“Hey guys, Zayn and I will go get lunch.” We all agreed on the diner, so we walked.

“Zayn, I can’t take this any longer. I need help, and I’ve made my decision.” I gave him a look that said it all. He stopped in his tracks and turned me so I could face him.

“Are you sure about this?” I looked at my surroundings

“I think so; I’m not going to tell anyone else. They will all try to tell me they can fix me, but it’s been 6 months, I can’t keep hoping one day someone is just going to fix me, I have to do this. It’s got to be about me now.” I felt really conceited saying that, but it’s true, I have to stop trying to please everyone else.

“I’m really proud of you babygirl. I really am, It’s gonna hard but I know you can get through this.” He smiled a teary smile and I finally realized how hard this is going to be.

“Let’s get lunch Z.”I grabbed his hand and pulled him along.

Once we ordered everyone’s food we took the bag and walked back to the house, we ate and the rest of the day continued how it started. Not much happened, we sat around and talked before Niall and Zayn headed home and we reminded them to be here in the morning.

“See you guys at noon, don’t forget!” Liam yelled out as the boys walked out the door.

“Well babes, I’m headed to bed, long day tomorrow! Love you all!” I sing-songed as I walked up the stairs, I washed my face, brushed my teeth took my contacts out and crawled into bed. I turned Netflix on and lay back in bed; staring blankly at the ceiling.

My phone went off beside me and I swiftly picked it up.

From: Lou <3

Hope you had a good day, baby, I love you, get some sleep.

Night xx

I smiled at my boyfriend’s words

To: Lou <3

It was okay, hope yours was wonderful, I love you, and I doubt it.

Goodnight :) xx

And then my mind went rampant with insecurities, of my choices, of myself as a person, what my friends are going to think of me. Everything that could go through my mind did. I finally pulled myself out of bed to get a sleeping pill so maybe I could get some sleep for once.