When We Almost Made It (Discontinued)

1 | A Beautiful Rose In A Field Of Thorns

Alec's POV:
Who else is just so tired of everything? Who else wonders what is even the point of waking up? Who else is living a lie everyday? Is it just me? Am I the only one sick of it? Done with it all. Wanting to tell the truth. Wanting to start living my life for me.

I wish on all the stars out there that for just one moment I could be who I am, and not have to worry about what anyone else thinks. People always say to stay true to yourself. Funny no one actually does. I should just be me.

Unfortunately I can't. Number one: I'm not really sure who I am. You know when you have varying personalities depending on who you're around. And then you reach the point when they all blend together and you can't even differentiate between who you even are anymore. I'm at that point.

And number two: my parents would not approve of it. Especially because of the papers that are right in front of me. College papers. Papers for the college I want to go to correction papers for the college my parents want me to go to.

If I could choose where I want to go, it would be a music school not a medical one. I love music it's a huge part of my life. It's very calming. I've spent plenty of nights in the comforting arms of it. I guess you could say it's my therapy.

I mean I love my parents, and I respect them and I appreciate them, but I just don't think I can go to this school and stay mentally sane. It's already enough doing high school.

All those hours spent on homework, sitting in class, listening to boring lectures. All to get a good grade that defines my worth and if I don't get a good grade, it's the end of the world. Now you may think i'm exaggerating, but I'm dead serious.

My parents were straight A students all their lives. Valedictorian. Full ride scholarship. And now they expect me to follow in their footsteps.

"Alec," my mom says interrupting me from my thoughts.

"Yes mother," I reply.

"The college application papers came did you see them?"

"Yes mother I am looking at them now,"

'And crying hysterically on the inside,' I add mentally.

"That's a really good school sweetie. It will be the perfect school to get you a medical degree. It's also the school I met your father at," my mom says dreamily while I try to resist rolling my eyes. "Maybe you'll find love too," she says.

Yeah right! Please I'm going to find love. I'd be more lucky plugging an USB port in correctly on the first try. Besides no one would ever want to be stuck with a person like me anyway. I mean I don't even like being stuck with me.

"I will try to get in mom," I say. No I won't it would be a death sentence to go to that school. However if I don't get in, it might crush my parents I don't want that to happen especially after what happened to Jace.

I'll never forget the day we found out my mom miscarried. It was depressing for all of us, but my mom took it the hardest. She moped around the house for months and she had lost her spunk. It's only recently she started to feel better.

I don't want to make her feel worst, but I also don't want to live a life that's not for me. I would regret it every second. I already have a lot of regrets I don't want anymore. Does that make me selfish. If it does, can I please be selfish for once. I've earned it right? RIGHT!?

"Have a good day at school sweetie it's your first day of senior year. You should be excited," my mom says interrupting me from my thoughts again.

"I am," I assure her even though I'm lying like I always do. "I hope you have a great day as well."

I walk outside of my house thinking of the last time I told my parents that I wanted to do music. They told me music isn't a concrete career choice it's too fickle. I told them music was my passion, but they wouldn't listen.  That was about 5 months ago maybe they've changed?

Probably not. I mean my parents aren't the type of people who change their minds that easily. I guess they're right though it is risky to go into the music business, but I think it's mostly because of our families history.

My parents are immigrants from Mexico . My great uncle came here long before we did and managed to accumulate a lot of money by being a doctor. My parents followed suit (although they've moved away from the medical field now, so they can spend more time with me) and now they want me to as well. It's a badge of honor for them that they managed to make a great life for themselves.

I am very lucky to be born into a family that is doing well financially, my parents are still together, and as in love as ever. Most people aren't as lucky as I am. I am very thankful that's one of the reasons while I feel obligated to go to that school. They've given me so much I should want to follow their wishes as a thank you.

I get into my car and push aside all thoughts of college I'm going to try survive high school first. I'm taking all AP classes again. All my teachers told me I wouldn't have a life if I did, jokes on them I never had one.

I'm way too busy trying to get A's in my classes. The only thing I really have time for outside of school is music. I love music I will always make time for it. I can play five instruments, but I'm best at the piano. I'm also a songwriter. Although it's always harder for me to write lyrics than to play music.

I can sing, but not as well as I can play. As I pull into my school I think of what song I should write to describe all of my years at school. I mean it is the ending of a period of my life. What should the title be? "All the things I should have learned but didn't." It would be hilarious I would certainly get a kick out of it my parents not so much. They're very pro-school even when I tell them all the problems with the school system.

Like why on Earth is Physics and Calculus a subject we're required to learn. Like let me get this straight say someone is a brilliant artist you know Michaelangelo's little bro whatever.

They're absolutely amazing but instead of spending time working at what they're good at they're considered stupid for not know how to calculate limits. Okay. Sure makes total sense not.

"Here I am," I say as I walk into the building. " My last year of high school and then I'm off to college."

It's funny I used to think it would take forever to get here. Now that it's here... I'm kinda kinda happy I won't have to go here anymore and deal with all of this nonsense. Like free at last! Free at last!

I take out my schedule to see where I need to go for my first class. I should have watched where I was going, because suddenly I was run into by someone and I fell on the ground.

"Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry," I hear a voice say.

"It's ok," I reassure them. As I look up I see who I'm taking. She looks familiar. Maybe I've seen her before maybe I haven't I don't know but what I do know is she's beautiful.

Not the kind of beautiful you see in magazines. You know the ones that are specialized towards a certain group of people or have an artificial feeling about them. The kind that feels more natural, close to home, comforting in a way.

Her skin was a caramel color and she had dark brown hair and blue eyes one dark one light. On the right side of her cheek she had a birthmark shaped like star. I also noticed she was had huge wine-coloured earphones around her neck.

"Are you ok," she asked me.

"I'm fine," I said then she smiled. She had a beautiful smile.

"I'm so sorry again for running into you. Here's your paper you dropped," she hands me my schedule I had dropped when I fell.

"Thank you," I say as she walks away.

"It's nothing it's what I should do since I knocked you over," she says turning around then running off.

She's nice. You'd be the amount of people I've bumbed into who've just looked at me like garbage then left.

I wonder what her name is I probably should have asked. No I shouldn't have that would be creepy. Although I do regret not asking. In a world like mine it's nice to see a person who's kind and a true beauty like her. She reminds me of A Beautiful Rose In A Field Of Thorns.