When We Almost Made It (Discontinued)

9 | Someone Who'll Put My Pieces Back Together

Zaire's POV:
Well this sucks. No phone. No music. No way to leave the house. Why oh why did I have to get a 91. Recently I've had to be creative to find ways to distract myself from my thoughts. They're persistent constantly trying to haunt me.

This would be way easier if I had my music but of course my parents had to take my music away. I'm taking bets, $20 on 2 days tops until I have a mental breakdown. I know I know I shouldn't be joking, but I don't know what else to do.

Humor it's one of my go to's now. I would look at memes and vines, but no phone. I filled out all my college papers and mailed them, so that's out of the way. I can't work on cover art for my future albums. I'm forbidden from doing anything with my music.

I'm actually really good at art. My current cover is me standing in an empty field. It's nighttime and the sky is filled with stars. The moon is full and a beautiful yellow. It's going to be called "Free" or it was before...well you know. The album title really is ironic because of my current situation.

Hey maybe I should write a song about this. Let them know that even when they ban me from music it's still the one thing on my mind. "I'll call it when I almost made it."

Never mind that's overkill for my situation. I mean it sucks, but I shouldn't complain people have it way worse. My parents always tell me that, whenever I complain. I should just be grateful for what I have.

I really wish I could've kept my instruments. I was working on a cover of smile before my parents took them away. I was going to take the song, but make it darker. I should have been able to finish earlier, but I can't figure out the song.

I was going to keep the lyrics but make certain ones stand out more. Make the beat slower and deeper. I've tried but I just can't figure out what to do with it. Maybe I should ask Alec for some advice. I mean he is a fellow musician. God do I wish I could text him.

I mean we're probably stuck in the same situation. We both failed to reach our parents expectations. He probably doesn't have his phone or headphones. Maybe his parents even took away his music. Well probably not. His parents seemed really nice when I met them. Although, they may have just been pretending. Like Coraline.

You know I'm really glad I met Alec. It's nice to have a friend. It's nice to have someone I can talk to. Someone who likes me for me. Someone who makes me feel better. I'm probably being optimistic, but he feels like he's Someone Who'll Put My Pieces Back Together.

Alec's POV:
It's Monday the most dreaded day of the week. The longest day of the week. The hardest day of the week. The beginning of a week filled with nothing but *guilt, regret, anxiety, and other things I don't want to think about.

I really hate Mondays. I mean I despise them. Just another reminder of the burden I carry on back.  The burden to be the best. To be superior. To excel.

I envy people who don't care. They don't know what it's like to have these pressures put on you. I've had them on me since I was five. The day I started school my parents told me "you have to be one of the best."

So many times I've wanted to say, "well I've tried. I've tried. I'm still not the best. I can't be the best. I can only try my best. Why can't that be enough? I'm so sorry that it isn't." If I have children I'm never going to put them under the pressure I had to go through.

I'll encourage them to follow their dreams. Love them unconditionally. Never let them feel alone. Build up their self-esteem. Be the understanding parent I wish I had. I'll sing them songs. Write them silly poems. Teach them how to draw.

You know the little things. I'd teach them the little things because the little things are what matter. The little things are what make up life. We always forget about them because we're too busy focusing on the big things.

And yeah it is great to remember the time you got a 100 on your exam. But it's also nice to remember the first time you went to the beach. Or what your favorite color is. What kind of ice cream do you like?

Looking at the beautiful hues of the sunset. Admiring the night sky. Having friends to walk through the city with. Living for the five minute highs that make up life.

I know. You probably don't understand what I'm talking about when I say five minute highs. I am happy to let you know it has nothing to do with drugs. You see in my experience life sucks. It's draining and at the end of the day you are stuck in an unhappy state of mind.

The "five minute highs" are the moments of life that are wonderful. That make you at the very least if not happy happier. I live for the five minute highs. I have too many bad memories. Too many bad thoughts.

It's not a fix all solution though. There's a downside to all them of course. But even if they don't last for a long time. They're at least something.

They let me escape for a little while. And based on how my life's going that's something I'll always need.

"Alec," I hear Zaire say.

"Hey, how was your weekend? The honest truth please," I say.

"Um... truthfully it was really frustrating. My parents took away my technology and my instruments. I didn't have an outlet, so that was frustrating for me. "

"Oh... I'm sorry I definitely thought someone had a better weekend than me," I say.

"What happened to you?"

"The same thing," I say laughing. "

"Typical Alec," Zaire says.

"What's that supposed to mean," I say

"WhAt'S tHaT sUpPoSeD tO mEaN," Zaire says mocking me.

"Hey don't disparage me!"

"Sorry it's just so easy. I mean you laugh at everything it's nice to meet some who's always down for a good laugh," Zaire says.

Yeah. But what she doesn't know. Is that I laugh to cover up what I really feel. Which is anything but funny.

"Hey. Can I ask you for a small favor," Zaire says.

*This is a reference to the musical Heathers.