14 | The One Thing You Will Always Make Time For Is Regret

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Alec's POV:
Just for a second think about what people say about when they talk about kissing someone they care about.

You would usually hear about fireworks or a spark when you kiss the person you love. Or they would say it's a special thing.

I used to wonder what mine would be like. Then I realised it wouldn't be happening anytime soon. I was wrong, and I have to say I'm happy. They were right it is a special thing.

Something that is worth the wait. But one thing I have to say is that they didn't even come close to describing it. It's better than I thought it would be. And one thing is for sure This is so much more.

Soft lights and shallow breaths fill our minds as we fit together so perfectly and so right. I start to pull away but a hand glides smoothly across my cheek tugging me forward for a moment more.

We both separate, if only slightly. And I can't say how long we stayed there staring into each other's eyes, feeling so at peace but also like we had run a marathon.

I don't want to ruin this moment. I don't want it to end. I just want to stay in this little piece of paradise we have created forever. But unfortunately as the saying goes 'all good things must come to an end.'

"So all this time, I was telling myself it was crazy for me to like you. And that you would never like me. And all this time you've liked me back and never said anything," Zaire says annoyed.

"Well in my defense I though the exact same thing. Although in retrospect, I probably should have. But you never said anything either," I say in retaliation.

"Touché," she says turning away.

"So back to Mulan 2...or maybe not," I say hearing the doorbell ring.

"I'm coming! Well I guess that's my parents."

"Yeah. Well it was nice hanging out with you."

"Likewise," Zaire says opening her front door. "Hi mom hi dad."

"Hello Zaire. Alec," they say staring directly at me in an intimidating way. Well what did I expect I was with their daughter by ourselves.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Rowe," I say trying to be calm.

"Um Alec was just leaving," Zaire says ushering me out the door. "See you Monday."

"You...," she slams the door "too I guess."

You know usually the walk of shame happens because of a completely different situation yet look where I am.
Well it doesn't matter because Zaire actually likes me.

I mean never in a million years would I have ever thought. I can't believe someone as wonderful as her would like someone like me. It's almost unbelievable.

'Well what have I been saying.'

'Yeah but I never took it seriously. It was one of those I hope it happens, but I know it won't moments you know?'

'Sure. Just don't mess this up. And don't jinx it because who knows this might all just be a dream.'

Yeah right. Well if this is a dream please please don't let me wake up.

Zaire's POV:
Do you ever get that feeling where if you continue down this road something bad will happen? And that you won't be able to stop it. Something that will affect your life forever.

Well ever since Alec left after we... anyway. I've had this feeling. I don't know why, but I know one thing for sure. It's not going away.

It's like that eyelash that gets stuck in your eye. You try to get it out but you just end up stabbing your eye. Well I guess the only thing I can do is be careful. Besides maybe it won't be that bad. Or maybe I'm just making up things. That's probably it. I do it all the time. It just cause unneeded anxiety.

Well moving on from that. I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST HAD MY FIRST KISS! Oh I wanted to yell it out to the world. "Zaire Aubrey Rowe has officially been kissed."

But then I realized that would be a terrible idea. Certain people could use my name for certain activities that I do not think are the best.

Soooooo only two people know unfortunately. Alec and myself because there is no way I am telling my parents. I have no friends besides Alec and I can't tell Zara because well you know.

God do I wish I could talk to her. This entire thing, my feelings, how to handle them, everything would have been so much easier. I wouldn't have been as messed up as I am now if only I hadn't been so stupid.

If only I had paid attention. If only I hadn't been so selfish. It should've been me. It should have.

'But it wasn't.'

'It should have been.'

'Well it wasn't and if Zara were here she wouldn't want you to think like this. She would want you to move on with your life. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself. She would want you to forgive yourself.'

'But... still she wouldn't want me to forget her.'

'Of course not. I'm not saying that. But Zara wanted to see you succeed in life. To be happy. To not have too many regrets. To be loved. Not to be acting the way you have been.'

'You're right. She wouldn't have. Ever since I was little she said she wanted me to be happy. She was someone who always had my back.'

"And I miss her so much," I say tears falling down my face.

"I just miss her so much."

'I know you do. It's okay to. There's nothing wrong with missing someone.'

'I am aware of that it's in our nature to. It's just really difficult to move past what happened. To live in the moment. I mean today should be a happy day. A great thing happened. And I was so happy and now...'

'It's fine. You should let it out. But some honest advice I will give to you is to not dwell on the past. Learn to live in the present. Make time to be happy now because The One Thing You Will Always Make Time For Is Regret.'

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