Finding You

Chapter 17: Writing a Book

Notes:

There is a Shinee joke in this chapter and I know much of the fandom is still in mourning and very sad. I wanted to make it clear this chapter was written almost...two years ago? It is in no way to make fun of Shinee or light of what has happened.

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It was exactly eleven PM, Yoongi even watched the digit turn over on his alarm clock. When he looked out the window, he saw the familiar hazy illumination from the city that seemed to suspend it in the perpetual light of dusk, like the edge of the sun was just barely past the horizon. The glowing buildings, car headlights, and busy people on the street didn't really allow the feeling of true night time to seep in for Yoongi.

He felt an odd sense of giddiness. If it was eleven PM in Seoul, it was ten AM in the Eastern Standard time-zone, which meant there was a good chance Alex could be awake. He was eager to talk to her, he could feel it the way that his fingers jittered restlessly, anticipating typing out words for her.

So, at eleven PM, Yoongi laid out on his side with his blankets pulled up to his ears and stared at his phone, heart beating like he was running a mile.

Peering through the bright light, he brought up their conversation and sent her a message, a simple "good morning". Yoongi had a free day tomorrow, so he decided that if she was awake and able to talk, he would stay up until two AM. Until he got a message from her in return, he went back to her normal blog page and began to look through the recent posts and then even reread some.

Since he had last looked, Alex had said that him dying his hair black that one day to hide the fact that he had gone platinum blonde for the Dope promotions was among the greatest betrayals she had ever felt. So, while laughing a little to himself at the silliness of it, Yoongi swore that one day he would go back to black for her. Just so he could picture her face smiling. And Pink, he would go pink again for her. He wasn't sure, but there was some undeniable part of him that wanted to make her happy. He supposed if he could make one fan happy to the point where she couldn't stop smiling, it would be enough.

He had also been reminded of how attractive Alex thought he was. She would reblog the ugliest pictures of him that existed and say he looked beautiful. He knew he was attractive, he knew thousands upon thousands of girls thought he was the most beautiful thing to hit the planet, and yet this one girl reblogging his picture made him feel a little bit different. He almost felt bashful and humbled about it. Alex, her words, smile, and thoughts just made him feel good.

And then, there were the questions that she had answered. Yoongi had learned several things about her from those. The first thing was that she liked piercings and had several on her ears. She even had one that he had to google because he had never heard of it; a triple forward helix. He quickly concluded that on any girl, it would look adorable and when he pictured Alex's face, he decided it really suited her in particular.

The second thing he learned is that she didn't let herself daydream. When asked if she thought someone was thinking about her, she said no because it was improbable. And yet, Yoongi would bet his entire freaking wallet that when she answered, he was. Alex was on his mind whenever he wasn't doing something to preoccupy it. Her blog, no, she was the background noise behind everything else. When he thought about it, he realised it was nice to have a friend like that. Someone he wanted to invest time into.

The last thing he realised from her answers was that she didn't trust easily. More so, Yoongi learned that Alex had shitty people to call friends. He had no doubt that in their mind, they didn't know the meaning of the word, especially when he read about how they relied on sheer manipulation to influence her. He chewed on his lip as he thought about it, realising he didn't want that for her. If he could find her a group of friends, he would. Hell, if he could be more present as her friend, he would. No one deserved to be treated like that.