Finding You

Chapter 32: Blindsided

The events of the last few days had sped by faster than he knew how to manage them. Yoongi was excited, unsure, and anxious to the point where he constantly felt nauseous. His emotions were threatening to spill over and impact everything, but he managed to keep moving forward despite it.

Alex would be in front of him in less than four hours and he swore to himself that this would be the last time he ever lied to her. He wasn't stupid, he knew this plan of his would stress her out but he just wasn't sure how else he could do this. He very well couldn't be sitting next to her watching his own concert.

As Yoongi looked around he saw everyone doing the final prep to go on stage. He could hear how loud the crowd was and he knew exactly where she would be. He would know exactly where to look for her if he wanted to, but wouldn't do any use. He couldn't see shit when he was on stage.

His phone pinged as he was getting his mic tested one last time and he looked down. His stomach churned as he read her text because he could tell how much this was making her uncomfortable. Yoongi bit his lip and started to type fast, knowing he had to reply or else she might leave and then all of this would be for nothing.

"Yoongi, you can talk to her another time. We're about to go on stage," Namjoon told him, only slightly annoyed to the point where the beginnings of it started to show.

"I really can't, she's out there and I don't want her to leave because I technically stood her up," Yoongi said hastily, offering no other explanation as he told Alex work had caught him up later than he expected.

"Wait, she's in the audience?" Namjoon asked as he came to read over Yoongi's shoulder. When taking in the information from the texts and the details Yoongi just mentioned, it wouldn't be hard for anyone to figure out what was going on, but especially for him. "Yoongi is she sitting out there thinking you're going to show up?"

"Yeah," Yoongi replied as he hit send and then took a deep shaky breath.

"You realise she thinks she has been stood up," Namjoon said, his tone indicating how shocked he was. "You're putting her through a lot of anxiety just to bring her backstage."

"I know but this was the only way I could think to do it," Yoongi said with a frown. "I couldn't just risk going to her place and I certainly couldn't bring her to the dorm. This was the only safe way to meet her."

Namjoon frowned, looking towards the area he knew the crowd was. "On some level, I know you're right, but this is fucked up. Really fucked up."

Yoongi looked at the ground, his stomach knotting. He had felt anxious and tense this entire time, but now it was worse. Now he worried she would truly be angry at him for this. "I didn't know another way."

"I know..." Namjoon said as he looked at the messages Yoongi sent again. He held his breath for a moment and then looked back at his friend. He pointed to the texts and then began to speak again. "Though I suppose if she really loves you, at least who she thinks you are, she might be willing to hear you out. And if she is as kind as you say, then she might forgive you."

"I hope so," Yoongi said as he took a deep breath.

Before he could think anymore, his manager took his phone and told them all to get in their places. He joined the others with Namjoon and ignored how sick he felt as he waited for them to be lifted onto the stage from under it. As he rose up, he closed his eyes for a moment and took another deep breath, preparing himself and when he saw the crowd and how loud they were he forced himself to get in the headspace that he reserved for performing.

As he looked towards where he knew she was sitting, all he saw was a blur of light sticks. However, he liked to think that the part of it towards the end of the row was Alex and it gave him some much-needed comfort to perform. She was still there and hopefully, she wouldn't leave.