Finding You

Chapter 27: Welcomed Chaos

Love was a very strong word to Yoongi and it was never something that he had slung around easily. However, three months had passed since they had spoken about how she had been cheated on and, by the end of that span of time, he was sure that he was approaching the word at dangerous speeds. He was falling so fucking hard for Alex and it was strange to him because they had never truly spoken before. Every word that was passed between them was sent through a phone or a computer. Before he had met her he might have been sceptical that someone could form this kind of bond with another person.

For that reason, he kept it to himself.

Now that it was February and things were beginning to warm up again. Yoongi was surprised he found that he was already missing the winter despite it not quite being over yet; he wasn't exactly ready to face the warm weather that would come by May. He knew it was inevitable though so he never dwelled on it long.

Alex had been busy lately. She had been working her ass off studying for finals but the way she talked about her classes gave him hope that maybe she would get the recommendation. Yoongi's stomach knotted even just thinking about it. He felt little bits of hope bloom in his chest whenever he thought of it, uncomfortable bursts of warmth spreading to his fingertips.

He tried to squash it out because he didn't want to let his expectations grow but it didn't work. He couldn't stop himself from imagining how he would spend his first moments when he finally met her face to face. He thought about it so much that he often found himself daydreaming about different scenarios of how it could go down. It happened so much that the other members had grown used to gently tapping his shoulder or waving their hands in front of him to get his attention.

Yoongi just really wanted to finally see her and put his list of things to talk about to work.

"You really like her, don't you?" Jimin asked him, tilting his head curiously.

Yoongi looked up from his phone and looked at him from the kitchen table where the remnants of his food sat from lunch. Jimin must have come in looking for food and caught him spacing out. He nodded and set his phone down.

"She must be really something if she caught your attention like this," he said with a warm smile as he came to sit down next to Yoongi. "Can I see what she looks like?"

In theory, it was totally possible for Yoongi to show Jimin what Alex looked like. He might have had a few of her selfies that she had sent to him saved. Maybe. Was that creepy? He couldn't decide until he remembered that he had pictures of his other friends on his phone too. Totally normal. But did he want to show her to Jimin? In a way, the thought made him nervous. However, he knew out of everybody Jimin would be least likely to judge her. He was too kind for that.

"Yeah," Yoongi said as he picked up his phone. "Sure, hang on."

He quickly got to the pictures on his phone and then picked out the one of Alex that was his favourite. She took it around Christmas and she was wearing this adorable oversized cable knit sweater. Her hair was done up in a perfect bun on the top of her head and she must have been laughing when someone took the picture because he had never seen someone look so happy and beautiful at the same time. Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks were slightly red. Yoongi wasn't sure why this picture was his favourite, but whenever he looked at it he felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

Jimin didn't make any kind of expression while he looked at her for the first three seconds and it made Yoongi's stomach churn. He knew Alex wasn't the example of perfection; she wasn't slender and small like the standards of beauty that South Korea demanded. But she was a person and Yoongi could see that about her all the time. She always seemed so warm and despite the fact that she had what people would say were imperfections, he couldn't care less. Yoongi felt himself relax when Jimin slowly smiled and then passed his phone back.