Finding You

Chapter 26: The Butt of the Joke

Yoongi had spaced out from his conversation with Alex, looking at his ceiling thoughtfully while he dreamt about the possibility of a relationship with her. It seemed like it would be as easy as fucking breathing and the more and more he thought about a relationship where he didn't have to worry about bitterness or jealousy, the more he craved it. The swooping sound from the messenger brought him back to reality and he glanced back down at the screen, readjusting himself to get comfortable so he could continue listening to her story about her ex.

[Received at 9:00 PM]: August, were you the one who sent me the ask about cheating? The one from the list?

Yoongi bit his lip and wondered if he was in trouble. Yes, he had sent the ask separate from his usual questions in hopes that it would make him seem like he wasn't nosing into something she had briefly discussed with him. And yes, that was a bit dishonest. However, Yoongi had already promised himself he wouldn't lie to her if he could avoid it, so he wasn't about to. Truthfully, he had thought that she didn't suspect him since so much time had gone by.

[Sent at 9:01 PM]: yes. i wanted to know more of how you felt. im sorry.

[Received at 9:01 PM]: No, it's alright. I just wanted to know if it was you...did I say what you wanted to know?

Yoongi paused to think about it. Was he still curious? That was obvious to him, he wanted to know what she went through. He wanted to know more about the things that made her who she was. He wanted to know her better than any other person could claim to know her.

[Sent at 9:02 PM]: i just want to understand you and what you have been through. i wanted the whole story. what you felt. how you feel now.

[Received at 9:03 PM]: The whole story...alright. I think we know each other well enough for this. I'll sum it up and maybe talk more about getting through it, cause I think you've been able to piece a lot of it together.

[Received at 9:03 PM]: So...I met a girl when I was fourteen. At first, I disliked her. She intimidated me and I was jealous of her. But once I got some preconceived notions of who she was out of my head, we became really fast friends. We spent the next many years as best friends. Close.

[Received at 9:06 PM]: I think on some level I always knew I was bisexual, but she really brought it out on a conscious level and one day I confessed to her. She was unsure at first, but then agreed to try dating. And our relationship went from shy and closeted to serious and long-lasting. We were together for five years, from the time I was seventeen until this year. Her mom hated me, but I didn't care. I loved her and at the time I had no idea how to love myself, so I poured everything I had into loving her.

[Received at 9:09 PM]: By the time four years went by, I was set on her. Sure as anything that she was my person. We built this whole future together and it gave me security. Even if the worst of the worst happened, she would be there. At the time, I was going through one of my worst episodes of depression. She was the only good thing left.

Right about now, Yoongi was thanking Alex for giving him a bit of time to read between each paragraph and honestly, he was just throwing everything into a translator because he didn't want to fall behind. It was making him feel much more involved that she gave him the time to read each section.

[Received at 9:12 PM]: No one knew that though. Of course, I kept it well hidden. My other best friend had moved far away and I wasn't doing well in school. I got caught up in this really fucking disgusting situation with a professor and a serious abuse of power and soon enough I was failing all my classes because I couldn't get out of bed.