A reason for living

A tough call

November 1st, Thursday

I'm still awake the second the ambulance brings me to the hospital, Kirishima's holding my hand tightly, sitting next to the lounger I lay on, connected to an oxygen mask and two paramedics on both sides of the narrow car.

„We're bringing him out, please let go of his hand, sir." One of the paramedics says warning and pushes Kirishima to the side a little, who just stares down at me with these worried eyes and his opened mouth. I want to talk to him, tell him I'm sorry, tell him it's gonna be fine. But no matter what I say, it won't cheer him up at all. The paramedics drive me inside the hospital and directly, Aizawa meets us at the entrance. The lounger stops next to him and with his parenting glare, he pouts down at me with his eyebrows drawn together.

„Bring him to the IV, I will come later." He turns to Kirishima directly, while the men drive me away. Weak mumbling sounds out of my mouth, the resistance and the struggle to break free so I can be with them instead of being alone. But the fear of being lonely fades as soon as my mind is too weak to work and properly think. I faint.

The moment I open my eyes and find myself back in the hospital, an aching pain fills my chest and makes my throat go very soar. Shutting my eyes as much as possible, I gasp trying to resist to cry. There's so much crying in the last months. So many incidents, mixed with beautiful memories and my emotions just don't get the chance to catch up with everything that's been going down. It's too much, it's too difficult. Suddenly, the door opens and both Aizawa and Kirishima come running inside.

„Why did he collapse!?" Aizawa shouts at Kirishima right in front of him, throwing a sudden tantrum.

„I don't know!? We were just going for a walk, I didn't think-"

„Did something else happen!? Something that could've made him exhausted and weak!?" Even though I don't know what this is about and why both of them came storming inside, Aizawa's question made me rip my eyes open in complete shock and embarrassment. Kirishima seems the same, he even starts sweating.

„We- ugh..." Will he just say it? „Umm."

„Kirishima! I don't have time for your stupid jokes!? I need the reason for the sudden collapse. He was on medication until his time for the next treatment comes." Aizawa's intimidation presses onto Kirishima, making him bow a little, trying to look anywhere except the doctor's eyes.

„God- fuck. We- had sex!" Kirishima kind of makes these words so fluently, that it seems like they slipped out his mouth. Nervousness crosses his face, while Aizawa completely lost any sign of a tantrum and rage. He stares at Kirishima with a dropped jaw.

„We did." I decide to interrupt the conversation, laying with my back against the wall and a serious look on my face. Both turn around to me.

„Wait- Since when are you two intimate!? I can't- what the fuck!?" Aizawa shouts again, knitting his eyebrows back. Kirishima ducks, twisting his face in fear.

„It was our first time. I wanted it." My expression doesn't change, I stay calm.

„You knew the consequences, Bakugou." The doctor's voice drops, he puts his fingertips against his forehead, frowning. Suddenly, he's quiet, more quiet than usual and I see the corners of his mouth lowering, wrinkles forming around them. His face covers his eyes, but I think- he's tearing up.

„You're so sure of your death, aren't you?" He adds up, sniffing hardly, trying to clam down again to not lose seriousness and intimidation. Kirishima inhales heavily, throwing his face to the doctor.

„I am."

Aizawa decides to not talk to me anymore, but only gives me the pills I need to swallow. What will happen next, is something he keep a secret from me. It's 11:33pm and Kirishima is on his phone, sitting next to me on the chair, his cheek on his arm, while he looks at memes.