The Vampire Prince Is Funnier Than Me?

Riding Shotgun With A Maniac Vampire

**Finally an upload! Sorry to all of those who are reading this story for making you wait 8 months (holy shiii) for a new chapter. I've got a new goal to help me upload quicker and that is 5 comments + 5 votes = upload? That's not a lot to ask for right? Short chapter, probably not worth the 8 month wait but I'm getting to it! :D I proof read this for 7 days :|** 

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.¸¸.•°' Riding shotgun with a maniac Vampire '°•.¸¸.

.¸¸.•°' Isabelle's P.O.V '°•.¸¸.

Riding shot gun with a maniac Vampire. This should be fun.

I don’t know why I had gotten into the pedo van… The shininess of the Royal purple Bugatti Veyron parked under the slide caught my attention faster than the naked hobo on the swing – wait what idiot parks a car like that under a freaking slide?!

“Please don’t drool over my baby, gosh have some manners.” This guy, whose name I still don’t know of threw a tissue box at my face. Yep, and I thought I was car freak.

Suddenly I went flying out of my seat and head-butted the dashboard. Damn, I knew I should’ve worn a seat belt. I looked to my right to see the vampire focusing on the road with his tongue stuck out; something tells me he doesn’t know how to drive. I’m too young to die, NOOOO! What I haven’t realised yet was that we were driving on the pavement.

“DUDE! YOU’RE DRIVING ON THE FREAKING PAVEMENT! YOU’RE GONNA KILL US!” I screamed so loud took his hands off the steering wheel to block his ears. We just ran over a pool of melted chocolate, yeah because that’s totally normal. I actually pictured myself dying from a gummy worm overdose.

“BUT ALL THESE BITCHES KEEP BEEPING THEIR HORNS AT ME AND IT’S SO RUDE! AIso you should know that I don’t know how to drive haha.” He smiled and turned onto the motorway whilst staring at his lap, he is so cute. No Izzy! That’s what he wants you to think and when you’re fallen in his trap he will fatten you up and boil your bones. Not even my conscience can stop me from oogling, haha I’m such a pervert. Who's actually driving this car?

“HOLY CRAP, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!” I exclaimed flapping my arms everywhere.

“STOP SHOUTING AT ME, THIS IS HARD OKAY?! WAAAAH ALL YOU DO IS SHOUT, I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO BRICK!” He buried his face in his palms and wailed like a baby as the car lost control. Wait did he just tell me to step on a piece of Lego? Oh it’s on like Donkey Kong bi-…

An immensely loud screeching noise came from the side of the car ending my train of thoughts, the vampire’s car is getting clawed by demons ha ha, laugh out loud, lol… Okay maybe not, we just tore apart a metal cliff barrier.

WHAT?!

“Look out the window! We’re flying! I do believe in fairies I do, I do! Oh no the wheels are on fire, pour a bucket of water over them will you Isabelle?” I wish I knew this guy’s name; it’s getting kinda boring calling him 'Vampire guy/dude/thing'. He crawled out of his seat and dived to the back seat, kicking me in the face, if we make it out of here alive I am going to punch him in the neck... So he’s not joking when he said we were flying... 150 foot off a freaking cliff edge! The vampire guy leaned over and screamed “PRESS THE BREAK BUTTON!” What break button?!

I said frantically, jumping into the driver’s seat. Okay I've got my own car I should know what to do but there’s sooooo many buttons. ‘Press all the buttons!’ This is the first time I'm ever going to listen to my conscience. This idiot is getting on my nerves, “STOP PRESSING THE WINDSCREEN WIPER BUTTONS!” I yelled at him, wow I sound just like Ariel.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” He puffed out his cheeks like a 5 year old.

I want to go home.

.¸¸.•°' Chaos' P.O.V '°•.¸¸.

Oh no, we are going to die.

I'm not going to die though and vampires never die, silly. The girl might die, oh no it’s all my fault, why did I have to be born dumb? Oooh lollipop! There is a whole stash of lollipops in the backseat but I don't remember putting them there.

When we get home I've got so much planned for us to do. PARTY!!! I cautiously looked out the window to see how high above we were, however we were on the ground, that was soooo weird… Must’ve been Chrystyne’s magic, oh she’s tracking me again; that paedophile.  She is so going to kill me when she sees the car. Wait, where is Isabella gone?

I searched the entire car for 2 whole hours, including the glove department. Today I wrecked my car, acted like a total baby in front of a pretty girl then lost her; my only friend I would have ever had. I want to drown in my tears and stab everyone.

The car door unlocked by itself, "What the fu-” I was so close to screaming bloody murder then Isabella slid into the passenger seat and dumped out 2 huge McDonald bags on her lap. Stuffing her mouth with a handful of chips she finally spoke “Wot yo lickkin bluefhuerrump?" She mumbles, I have no idea what she said and I don't intend in asking her. "This girl gotta eat you know. Want some?” Waving a burger in front of my face as she continued to eat with her mouth wide open. "Do you think Smurfs eat McDonalds?"

I ignored her stupid question; duh of course Smurfs eat McDonalds! “Hey! You can’t drink and drive at the same time!” I scolded at her then she stuck her tongue out and took another sip of her coke. She turned around the corner of the road and screamed at the top of her voice, “WE’RE HERE!” No shit Sherlock, there is a freaking palace here in the middle of nowhere.

“How did you know how to get to my palace?” I was slightly freaked me out, she didn’t even ask for directions.

“I dunno, I just followed my instinc- Whoa this is so freaking cool!” She shrugged then awed at the palace taking in all the details. Hmmf the gates are locked, I’ll just go round the side and get one of the guards.

Where did she- Oh I left her alone, whoops.

.¸¸.•°' Isabelle's P.O.V '°•.¸¸.

What kind of idiot leaves a person like me alone at the haunted palace of freaking death?!

I’m hungry, even though I just ate 10 minutes ago. If I see a bag of blood anywhere in his palace I will faint, but didn’t the vampire say he’s a veggietaytay?  Booyah, I’m safe.

This place seems so familiar, what else can explain how I found myself here. This is such a vampire story cliché, there’s a mystery with me involved located here yadda yadda yadda; I'm going to uncover it with Vampy blah blah blah; everyone dies. Hooray!

Shit, someone’s coming this way.

“OHEMEFGHEE, are you Darth Vader?!” Bewildered I stared at the person; he had a black cape covering his entire body. Oh so it is true vampires can’t stay in the sun.

“Isabelle?” He questioned with a familiar voice. HE KNOWS MINE NAME. HE KNOWS MY FREAKING NAME! Just as I was fangirling, he disappeared leaving a green cloud of fog behind.

Who the hell was that?

Don’t you ever get that feeling when you think someone is standing behind you but when you look, there’s no one there?

“I'm baa-” Due to my quick reactions I turned around and kicked the vampire in the face, he groaned and cradled his jaw whilst glaring at me, my bad.

His frown quickly turned into a cheeky grin as he lent his hand out to me, “Shall we go in my lady?” I simply nodded and skipped along with him as the onyx black gates opened for us. He kept looking and smiling at me until we reached the entrance. Weirdo.

Well, this is going to be fun.

I hope.

**There you have the 3rd chapter, look how far across I've come! *sobs* I hope this was enough :3 Next upload will be soon so please vote and comment if you've enjoyed reading and want a quicker update :] See you next chapter! x**