For what it's worth || Sope

Lets put a bandage on us

The following day snuck up to Yoongi.

His hangover felt as though it bashed his own head in.

He slowly sat up, refusing to open his eyes.

The stir below the side of the bed helped edge him towards flickering his eyes open.

Once he finally accepted the fate of any sort of light crashing into his sensitive pupils, he leaned over the side of the bed, examining the dog as he stood up and began walking towards the hallway, presumably going to the kitchen.

This reminded Yoongi that he had to put more food into their bowls.

He sloppily stood up, his mind feeling broken as the world seemed somehow broken too.

The way he felt in this moment pressured him to release that note.

The note he wrote but felt like he didn't write because reality momentarily escaped.

His feet touched the cold tile, he was quick about his time in the kitchen.

He wanted so badly for the day to be over.

For the world to go away.

His subconscious self tortured him.

Each passing moment felt like it should be the last as the rabbit hole deepened, and his thoughts joined it.

The constant throbbing in his head, made worse by the constant scratching at his arm.

His skin crawled with the thoughts of harm, he felt uncomfortable without scraping himself with his dull nails, only forcing him to dig deeper.

The scenario of standing in the dark shadows of the moonlight whilst he spent his last seconds watching the cars calmly drive past, each taking their seconds for granted just as he did.

Though he knew he had to hold on just a little longer, the time crushed his patience.

The slow but steady pain in his heart as he felt his self respect disappear became unbearable.

The time grew closer when it became time for work.

He reluctantly put his clothes on, not bothering with his hair, but still brushing his teeth.

He had gotten to his car, then he froze.

As he slowly grasped what was happening, he accepted it.

His panic attack paralyzed him in a way.

He sat there helplessly as tears began streaming down his cheeks and he didn't know why.

He couldn't control anything and this doubled the anxiety as he sat in the interrupted silence.

In the split second he had regained himself, he turned the radio on, trying to calm himself.

This helped, and he was pleased by that.

His mind calmed a bit as the words took over and he was able to focus on them instead.

He bopped his head a bit to the beat as the enjoyable sound was a brief flush to his mind, allowing him to forget the endless feeling of desire for his end.

He had arrived to work, transferring the music to his earbuds that dangled and danced against his chest as he entered work, 10 minutes prior to his shift.

Though his head was corrupted, his time management seemed to never follow in his head's footsteps.

He had placed his time stamp into his designated slot, and he made his way to the front desk, anticipating Cheol.

Once he arrived, it was barren.

The music paused as Yoongi pulled the earbud out of his ear.

He had slightly wanted to see what Cheol was about even though the deep anger and sadness engulfed him to the thought.

Yoongi loved him so much, but he couldn't love him because he loved Seung too.

And both of these thoughts were pushed aside by the forever thought of Jung Hoseok.

Yoongi soon forgot about Cheol, and shifted his mind to Hobi.

This sudden burst of confidence took over, leading him to his phone.

Only to realize he had already received text messages.

I fucking muted them?!?!?

Hundreds of missed text messages flooded the history in his phone.

Many from Hoseok, some from the group chat, some from the individuals within the chat, and the rest coming from the various people from the party night who had somehow received Yoongi's number.

He had immediately clicked Hoseok's conversation.

His heart fell and crumbled and forever broke as he read through the rejected messages.

The very last message reading what Yoongi dreaded.

"I'm sorry I wasn't good enough."

Yoongi felt the world crash down again, the music unable to help.

Yoongi felt as though he was the bottom of the food chain, and to be told someone didn't feel good enough for him felt like a shot to the neck.

Yoongi let his tears escape unintentionally, but this time he was in control of his body.

He hopelessly looked down at his feet, not wanting to feel defeated by being seen in the cameras above.

The day went on, only 3 customers coming in, none asking about Yoongi's dark circles and red eyes.

The wetness was evident, but he knew they didn't care.

Once the shift ended, he handed the final shift off and left heartlessly.

He had turned the opposite way of his home and made his way towards the coffee shop he went when he got his pets.

He entered, his head hanging low, his black beanie pushing his fluffed hair down to cover his disheartening eyes.

He ordered with so little care and sat in the very corner of the shop.

Once his coffee announced, he made his way over, not noticing the small gasp from a face that was familiar, had he looked.

He went and sat in the corner, throwing his head into his palm, slowly sipping at his dark and slightly sweet coffee.

The Irish cream mixed with Hazelnut and a little bit of French vanilla were blended well.

Another tear escaped as he finally accepted the dark words dancing around the dark spots of his mind, which nowadays were commonly found.

The new presence in the corner of his eye didn't even make him flinch.

He in fact didn't notice for a while.

"Min Yoongi?"

Yoongi swallowed his sip of coffee and pulled his hand away from his cheek, revealing his sad eyes a bit more.

He knew the voice, and though he wanted to scream, cry, hug him, do anything he could, he sat in silence as he looked at the younger.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have texted you those horrible things, I wish I could take it all back, I sounded so much like an attention seeker and I promise none of it was your fault."

Yoongi and Hoseok gazed at each other for a while before Yoongi let a few more evident tears escape, followed by a light nod and the soft, yet sad spoken words;

"So many bad things happen without you around. I'm sorry too."

Hoseok sadly smiled, feeling the pain seeping through the cracks of Yoongi's voice.

"Let's put a bandage on us."