Affinity

Chapter 15: Hey Sis

Because, ya know, I'm generous and all....another chapter 

" Nope, we don't answer those." I chastised my phone aloud as the ' No Caller ID' sign popped up on the screen. Unknown numbers were always a red flag, it was always someone who didn't wanna be found, but wanted to find you. A sentiment my already uneasy mind couldn't handle.

" Hey Ab, we're gonna have a meeting real quick. Meet you in there in 10." Trish provided the easy distraction, as I nodded ok and put my phone in my purse. Focusing on work was a welcome task these days.

Trish was expanding her business. She was branching out from stationary and monogramed office materials to include website and brand development as added perks to entice her clients to come to her as a one stop shop. This was a venture she'd been building for a little over a year now and the overhaul needed to streamline the new products and services was a new challenge for our team to take on. My role was also expanding to include more face-to-face interactions with the clients, a scary feat for anyone I would gather, but especially because of my age. As old beyond my years minded as others branded me as, trepidation when speaking to others still loomed over my head. But Trish had put her faith in me, and because of her belief I would continue to do my job to the best of my ability.

We all entered the meeting and sat for an hour and a half as Trish set out game plans, all of which nudged me into an overwhelming state. I sat motionless as the others filed out the room, willing my body to follow their lead, but for some reason the connection between my mind and body weren't quite communicating this morning.

" You good Ab?" Trish vaulted the question from her place at the front of the room as I sat in a dazed stupor attempting to get my life together.

" Yeah, I'm fine. Just gonna sit here a minute." I didn't make a move, but threw a half hearted smile Trish's way to lend her some piece of mind. She took the hint, and glad that she did, I stayed seated.

I have no clue why in all the moments in time, it was now that my resolve was suddenly coming down. The barrier was sliding at such a fast pace that I couldn't curb the emotion into a display other than tears. I only thanked my body for having enough sense to allow the tears to fall silently. Travis' hand was on my shoulder as I sobbed, urging me to clam down, but how could I! I'd known he was gone, had replayed the scene countless times over the past weeks, and yet now was the moment I realized this was reality.

I had already admitted to myself that Travis' death had nothing to do with me, this was not a burden to be laid on my conscience. And even though I consciously knew that, subconsciously I felt guilt, and beyond that I missed him. It was as complex and simple as that, the ready made brother I put in put in Hakim's absence, was gone. The turmoil that'd this brought to our lives, especially the grief that overtook Raheem. I silently wished I could take his pain away. I wiped my tears and cleared my nose as I stood up and left the conference room. I went back to my desk and proceeded to accomplish work before I was startled by my phone vibrating in my bag; I ignored it and returned my attention to my work.

I didn't glance at my phone once before my day was over. I busied my hands with the filling out, uploading, and organization of invoices. I reached out to our suppliers and set up a meeting for later on this week to decipher whether or not they could handle the increased volume of our order load. The rest of the day was spent making treatments to present in the meeting the following week as well, the assembling of said treatments could be finished later on in the week. I was actually enjoying the project before I looked up at the clock and realized it was time for me to head to my Monday night class. December was now in it's second week and I took pride knowing we'd have majority of this deal with the supplier wrapped up by Christmas.