Affinity

Chapter 45: Bittersweet

" Ma'am what's his name?" An EMT stood over me posing questions I was supposed to answer, but I couldn't find the words. I couldn't even recall how'd I'd climbed into the back of the ambulance in the first place; my knees brushing against the rails of the gurney he lay on clinging to life.

" Ma'am-, Tony I think she's in shock. I can't get a clear answer from her, but I don't see any visible wounds either." The man slipped Jay's blazer from my arms and looked me over for any sources of bleeding before turning his attention back to the man on the gurney. I couldn't tear my eyes from that form. I wanted him dead and alive at the same time. I wanted his breath to cease, but his smile to remain; it was a gut wrenching feeling.

            " Shit, his blood pressure is dropping. Administering forty cc's of adrenaline now." I watched the heart jolting liquid plunge into his IV and literally prayed it had the opposite affect intended.

" He's coding! Ma'am I need you to hold this air big right here and squeeze on beat. I'm going to perform chest compressions now, counting off, 1..2.." I drowned out the man's count-off as I looked down and saw what was left of Hakim, the brother I'd once loved more than anyone. Tears angrily slipped down my face as I saw the curve of his nose arc towards Jaz's and the slope of his cheek that was surely our father's; our mother's curls fought atop his head. I was suddenly transported back to the photo Jay had shown me the night he'd told me of our relation. The matching smiles the two men had sported as they'd slung arms around the other seemed an eerie premonition as the two had now taken measures to end the others' life.

            My tears were now dripping from my eyes onto his forehead as his panicked eyelids fluttered opened and searched for a focal point before realizing who I was. There was so much emotion in his gaze that wails were now erupting from my mouth as I continued to press air into his lungs on purposefully uneven beats. In this moment of my literal killing him he still loved me, as his hand fought air until it found the cusp of my dress. Pulling the hemline into his fist as he quite literally hemorrhaged, we both knew this was the end. It was at this moment I'd decided to impart a dying man a final nicety, as his afterlife would hold no reprieve.

            " I love you Hakim." The words came out throaty as the tears chocked my normal voice into submission, coaxing a more emotional me to the forefront. He widened his eyes for a minute, a look of both knowing and curiosity in them, before he let go.

" Come on sir, we're almost at the hospital come back." I'd heard the flat line on the monitor and pushed back from his body emotionally exhausted from the minutes we'd spent furtively intertwined within such a confined space.

" He's gone, I'm sorry for your loss ma'am. Time of death 1:15pm." I wasn't sorry. It hurt to watch my brother's life slip from his body, but it was needed.

            In the moments that followed I let tears flow from my eyes as I let the summation of Hakim's reentrance and now his demise wash over me fully, this was the final shoe drop. I prayed Jay was somewhere nearby along with the rest of the fam because the shit that had been our lives for the past couple months was finally over, and I was okay with the fact that my graduation has to be the sacrifice. The graduation that was slated to begin fifteen minutes from this very moment in time; coincidences were no where in sight; this was all divine plans I was not deemed on a need to know basis until this exact instance. As I was being helped down from the ambulance once we reached the hospital the EMT again asked my name and I was able to answer this time, " Abla." I watched his mouth quirk up at my answer, a slow smile spreading as he held my hand in his a moment more than necessary after both of my feet were planted on the ground.

            " I'm Lance." I nodded my head at his moniker. I hadn't asked him for such an emission, but in the air of politeness I would not wholly refuse the statement.

" Aye, Tony has to get the rig back to the station but I could wait with you until your family arrives if you want. I can see by your dress today was supposed to be a special day, I'm sorry it had to end like this." I watched as Hakim's body was wheeled into the emergency room and taken from the EMT pushing it as a worker from the morgue wheeled him past us with a sheet thrown over his head. I thought about calling my parents but decided I was not unbiased enough to deliver such news, I might fuck around and let a smile slip through the phone.

            I turned to the man once more, knowing the police would be by soon enough and his statement would be needed, him offering to sit with me was a plush nicety that bordered flirtation.

" That's fine, I'm sure the police will be by to talk to us soon anyway. I'm gonna talk to the receptionist about next steps."

Lance settled in the hard plastic chairs near the entrance as I ventured towards my intended target, cursing the click my heels made on an otherwise squeaky floor.

" Excuse me, I need to see if a patient has been admitted, his name is Jaelyn Hardwick. Date of birth September 12, 1994." I hated not stating his last name as Ever, but knowing the suspicion that would throw, knowing that all his current identification stated otherwise; I went with the safe answer. The woman glossed eyes over my attire before typing the information into the computer.

" He's up in the ICU, are you family? Only family is allowed to visit in that ward."

" That I am." I stifled anger as she took her sweet time finding his room number and offering it up to me along with a visitors pass.

            Once all material information was in my possession I informed Lance of my next move before venturing towards the elevators. All I knew, is that Jaelyn Ever better be alive after all this, I'd just got him back, and wouldn't risk losing him once more. Knowledge had proved power, and with this knowledge of another brother who was pure and true to me, I couldn't go back to my previous state of oblivion. Again my attire felt silly, the tinted metal smell emanating from the blood on Jay's suit jacket forced me to hold the piece of clothing at arms length as I counted off the numbers until rom 302 appeared. Now at the doorway I was scared to go in, fear of his life slowly slipping catching my breath in my chest and holding it there.

            " He's awake you can go in." I jumped, startled by the voice behind me. A doctor appeared with a nervous smile, I stepped away from him and smiled sheepishly.

" Didn't mean to startle you, you're Abla right? He's been asking for you."

" Yeah that's me, how is he?" I smiled at my name being the first he spoke, he surely was my brother through and through.

" We had to perform an emergency surgery to remove the bullet lodged near his collarbone, and perform a blood transfusion to replace his depleted blood supply. He's lucky to be alive, but he'll have to stay with us at least for a week. We may be able to downgrade him to regular patient care depending on how he responds to the meds tonight. All of this being said, you can surely go visit your brother, I'm almost positive yours is the face he yearns most to see." Again, that smile only Jay could plaster on my face appeared as I reflected on our bond, it was surely worth all the turmoil of the day's previous events.

            With a nod I sent the doctor on his way, a little more sure of myself.

" Jay, Jay?" I peeked my head around the door as I slowly opened it, my mental twin in the bed hooked to IV's, with EKG leads attached to different parts of his upper body.

" Abla who the fuck told you you could take that jacket off lil girl? I know motherfuckers was up in this hospital staring at you and shit, you must want me to catch a heart attack and die in here!" Laughter and tears flowed from me simultaneously as I crouched over him and wrapped arms around him carefully, pressing a kiss to his temple.

" I was worried bout you too Rambo, I love you."

            " I love you more bighead, now dry them tears tell me what I need to know." I settled on the edge of his hospital bed, cold air assaulting my back as Jay adjusted his pillows so that one rested behind me as well.

" You  know good and well." Why waste words on realties we both knew.

" He's gone Jay, DOA."

Thoughts?