Langst One-shots

Cycles.

Be better.

Be stronger.

Be quieter.

Be anything but you.

"Hey, Lance?" Keith called sort of quietly. I turned my head for a second to acknowledge him, but trying o focus on the simulator.

"Yeah? What's up?" I asked in a gasping voice. He could tell I was invested in the simulation but didn't bother to say "I'll come back later," or something like that. 

"Simulation end!" He yelled to the castle.

'Seriously Keith? I almost finished that level!" I complained and collapsed to the cold floor. 

"I think your well being is more important." I stated and extended his hand out to me.

I took it and with one heave he pulled me up. Wow, didn't know someone so......short could pack in so much muscle and anger at the same time. Aside from that something else was off.

"Since when?"

"What?"

"Since when did my well being mattered?" I blurted out, quickly shutting my mouth and clenching my jaw tightly. That was a stretch. His eyes widened in shock.

"Um since when has it not?" He looked at me confusingly. 

"Actually scratch that, anyways why did you call me?" I said quietly and I waved my hands, pushing the topic to something else.

"Lance, did you really think I wouldn't care about your health?" Keith asked in astonishment.

"Keith, please get to the point, I'm not really comfortable with talking about this." I asked in a stern yet pleading voice. He shut his mouth to collect his thoughts.

"You've been different lately." He says, almost unsure of himself. I almost burst into laughter.

"How so?"

"The way you are with.....everything, it isn't you." I raise my eyebrows as he says that, he sighs and scratches the back of his hair.

"You don't eat with us, all you do is train, we never see you, you don't talk to us." He lists. " And you keep training and going through level after level, it's not healthy.

"Maybe that's a good thing." 

"What?"

"I'm only here because I need to be with you to form Voltron, after we save the universe we'll all go our separate ways. Allura's probably looking for my replacement soon. I don't need social interactions with people who don't matter." I stated plainly. His face expressed feelings of hurt as my lazer sharp words cut him.

"Is this because of what we said the last mission?"

I sighed, he was desperate wasn't he? Maybe Hunk told him to talk to me.

"If it it, you know it was just because of the adrenaline and we were in the heat of the moment." He rambled on, not desperately, but as if trying to prove it wasn't because of the team. I grew irritated but let him continue. I think he could tell my irritation and he became more pleading. 

"We can fix this, we can help sort out misunderstandings." He said.

"Look, stop trying to make excuses. If the rest of the team feels that way too they can come talk to me." I said, ice cold.

"Lanc-"

"There is nothing to fix, you've done enough damage." I growled and began to pack my stuff and head to my room. He followed.

"Lance, why are you like this?!" Keith asked, now more agitated.

"BECAUSE THIS IS ME! ISN'T THIS WHO YOU WANTED ME TO BE?" I screamed.

"You don't think that after a while, insults and disappointment get to into people's heads?" I say. "What did I do today? Was I not fast enough? Was I not strong enough? Or maybe, It's just me whose a fuck up?"

"Lance!" He yelled my name desperately, but I wasn't done talking.

"Oh I wish he was more like Keith, smart, strong, reasonable, quiet, not a flirt. Why can't he be like him?"

taking hold of my wrist. I hissed and yanked it out of his grip. Shit. The bandages came undone while I was training. I examined my wrist then lifted my head to see Keith's face.

His eyes wide with terror as his stared at his hand, faint blood stains from the cloth had seeped through. He glanced at his hand and my wrist as I gripped it tighter to my chest.

"Lance?" he continue just to say my name, he reached out to my shoulder. "Oh god, how had we not seen this?" He whispered. I shook it off and glared at him.

"Your too late." I hissed. Feeling warm fresh blood seep through my other hand squeezing my bleeding one. 

This was it.

I said the truth.

Not all of it though.

There was so much I wanted to say.

But I guess this was it.

I dashed out of the simulator room and ran outside to the top of the castle tower.

"LANCE!"

I now stood on the cold railing barefooted, the whole team in front of me.

"Lance! We can work this out buddy." Hunk squeaks desperately.

"We didn't mean to!" Pidge says, now in tears.

"Lance please." Allura pleads.

"Lance." Shiro says his hand out stretched. "Please get down."

I look at them with my empty eyes. Waiting for them to walk away and leave me be, but they don't. My eyes flicker to Keith, who says nothing. His eyes are staring right into mine.

"Please,"

I had never heard him say anything that softly before. That's what death does, brings the weakest of people's points out. But once it's gone, it's all fake.

I know they'll ignore me again.

I know they'll insult me again.

Yell at me for trying to kill myself.

They only need me to form Voltron, other wise I'de be dead already.

It's and endless cycle.

Only I can break.

I look into Keith's blue-grey eyes.

"I know it's impossible to be like you, handsome, smart, amazing, strong, agile, brave."

Keith gulps.

"But there is one thing I can hope for."

Everyone almost breaths a sigh of relief.

"Now, Lance let's get down from he-" 

"I can hope to be the perfect Paladin in the next life."