Belong

~Four~

I went to a nursing home, after 48 hours shift, to see...my mother. Ellis. The one with Alzheimer's, not the one who's alive and well in somewhere.

I sighed, I'm just doing this for my own sake.

Ellis was staring vacantly, "are you a Doctor?" She said coherently, and I smiled in sympathy, Meredith had to go through this, and now I'm going through this.

"No...I'm not your doctor, but I am a doctor," I smiled slightly, and it is true, I do feel like a doctor...I feel like I could...belong in this life. But I'm not ready to accept things right now.

"What's your name?" She looked confused, and I sighed, "it's me...mom,"it sounded forced, "Reagan."

She nodded, "alright, I used to be a doctor," she fiddled with her watch, "I think," she added, quietly.

Out of instinct, I grabbed her hand in comfort, "you were a doctor, mom, you were a surgeon." And yet, you were a bitchiest person I've ever met, or seen on television. I trampled down my bitterness, feeling guilty. I'd missed my mom, I need her to be here, and tell me that I will make it okay, and be home.

It's not happening. At all, and I felt tremendously sad.

~-B-~

I needed roommates, badly. Cause first, I don't have anyone. Second, my best friend isn't here, he would've saved my ass from all of this. Third, I don't like doing this.

So here I am, in intern locker room, I jammed the stapler into the paper that said "ROOMMATES WANTED" sign onto the bulletin board by the door.

Several people started to pile in through the door, chatter immediately filled the room, and I sighed. At least I put my scrubs on.

I left before anyone noticed that I was here.

~-B-~

"I could be your roommate," a blonde chick came up to me, and I sighed.

"Look, I'm sure you're nice," very annoying actually, "but I'm very picky about who lives in my house...and you're just not the person for it." I shrugged carelessly.

She looked offended, and I interrupted her before she said anything, "where were you when 9/11 happened?" She looked dumbfounded, "I was...in kindergarten?" She hesitates.

I shook my head, if you were in kindergarten when 9/11 happened, then you aren't supposed to be here.

"Like I said, no." I spoke coldly. I walked away, and I heard Izzie, "Why do you put up posters for roommates if you don't want roommates?" I laughed slightly, "I do want roommates, we're together a hundred hours a week, you want to live together too?" I asked incredulously, knowing that she wants to live with me.

I turned to Bailey after she stormed past me, "I need a place to live. My mom irons my scrubs. I have to get out of there." George spoke up, and I smiled.

However, I ignored him.

I ran after Bailey, "Doctor Bailey. I was hoping to assist you in the OR today, maybe do a minor procedure? I think I'm ready." I was determined to make the best of being here, even if I didn't want to.

Then all of sudden, Cristina, Izzie, and George started to talk at the same time, they were halted by Bailey.

"Stop talking. Every intern wants to perform their first surgery, that's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No. Why? Because my interns are whining. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma patients answered, having the weekend labs delivered, and having someone down in the Pit, doing the sutures." She started to walk up the stairs, "No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary freakin' Poppins." She scoffed.