Belong

~Ten~

  Being an adult is already overrated, it's been weeks since I've been dropped into this life, and I didn't want to be 26 anymore, I want to go back to my 17 year old self.

I sat in the tub of the shower, staring blankly, and I rubbed my eyes.

I heard a harsh knock, "Reagan! Get your ass out of the shower! I need a shower." Scott all but screeched, I huffed, "you can go fuck yourself, Scott!" I yelled back, but I got up from the tub floor.

I sighed when he screeched again, man, he's not a morning person. I turned off the knob, indicating the water will stop running.

Being adult is so overrated.

~-B-~

"Look, I haven't slept in 48 hours. I'm getting my first shot at heart surgery this morning. I'm missing rounds. Are you sure there isn't anybody here, or the attorney...? I mean, do I really have to be the one to handle this?" I said raspy, I glared heavily at caretaker who's dealing with my...mom.

She huffed, "We're talking about her estate, her finances, her medical care. You really want to leave her life in someone else's hands? She's your mother."

No shit. The one with Alzheimer's. The one who acts like I wasn't important. No wonder why Meredith relies on herself.

~-B-~

I went into intern locker room, hearing George speak, "you know, Reagan thinks this is just going to be a little, small, meet-your-boyfriend cocktail thing. Did you clear this with her?"

I sighed, then I went back out of the locker room, I pulled the phone out of my handbag, and I sent a text to Scott.

He called me, I huffed.

I answered, "so tell me who came up with the idea of having a party, you? You know what, I don't have to guess. And yes, I know it happened on the show..." I closed my eyes, in distressed mood, Scott replied, "well, I'm in a mood for a party, so do you." His reason for being the one who came up with it, I rolled my eyes, and snapped the phone shut, indicating the end of a call.

I walked back into locker room in time to hear Cristina saying, "Why are you wasting the only weekend your boyfriend is in town on a big party? Is he bad in bed?"

I stifled my laugh, "who?" I asked innocently, Izzie and George immediately scrambled back to their lockers. Cristina shrugged, "her apparent bad of a boyfriend."

I sighed.

~-B-~

I walked out to the hallway, only bumping into Derek while he is eating his lunch, "hey, I hear you did a CABG with Burke."

I nodded, after what exactly happened with the heart in the OR, I'm becoming Meredith.

He munched on some greens, and asked, "did you get to hold the heart?"

I nodded once again, "it's an amazing feeling. You never forget your first time." Derek smiled, I felt guilty, because I accidentally squeezed the heart a little. Or punctured it even.

I walked off to the stairs, not wanting to deal with George who is coming to an elevator, I waved to Derek, "see ya." I whispered tiredly. He looked at me with concern expressing on his face.

~-B-~

I was at the counter scanning through a file, "are you okay?" I jerked my head towards the left, and saw Derek.

"Yeah," my tone was high pitch. I cleared my throat, "yeah, I'm good." My tone went back to normal.

His eyes scanned across my face, in concern. "Are you sure, cause you seem not okay." He stepped closer to me, "I'm fine. CABG was long." I sighed, then I looked back down to the file that I was dealing with.

He leaned against the counter, "Well, let me take you out to dinner tonight. You can tell me all about it. Real food, waiters, big chunks of carbs in a basket."

I closed the file folder, "I can't" I hastily said, I walked around the counter to put the file in a safe place.

"Forget about the party." He said indignantly, I jerked in surprise, shit I forgot about this.

"You know about the party?"

He looked at me suggestively, "your friends will be at the party. You and I can be alone somewhere else." He tilted his head.

I turned, and gestured towards him, "How do you know about the party?"

He'd pulled a face, "thanks for not inviting me, by the way. That felt good." He pushed himself off the counter, and walked around me to get a better view of my face, "dinner, think about dinner, perfect opportunity." Before I could say anything, my pager went off. I looked at him, he was already walking away, I huffed, and ran to the opposite direction.

~-B-~

I sighed in exhaustion, after an emergency surgery with Mrs. Patterson.

Eventually it'd catch up to me, and it did.

"You got called before the chief?" George asked.

I was sitting in the hallway with Cristina and George. I was writing some things down, to keep myself from collapsing.

"Tomorrow morning. I could get kicked out of the program. I could, right?" I looked up, George assured me, "you're not getting kicked out."

Cristina scoffed, "Patterson's just going to sue."

George whipped his head to glare at Cristina, "Patterson is not going to sue and you're not getting kicked out."

She shook her head, "What the hell are you thinking? Telling Burke. So stupid."

George shrugged, "I told her not to."

I huffed, and before I could say anything, my phone begins to ring.

Great.

~-B-~

I hung up the phone, and I heard Derek walking towards me, I breathed through my nose.

"I heard," Derek leaned against the railing. "It's a notary thing?" I questioned, "I'm talking about the heart thing. Do you want to talk about it?" He leaned his head toward, I shook my head, "it's pointless." I breathed.

I turned away from him, and started my path away from him. "We're adults." I shrugged while I spoke to him loudly.

I just want to go home.

~-B-~

  I walked out of the hospital, so I could find Mr. Patterson, and I spotted him talking to someone on the phone.

  He noticed me, and told...his lawyer that he'll talk to him later. I'd remember him doing that on the show.

  Not good.

"That was my lawyer, he was advising me not to talk to you," he huffed, he shoved his phone into his front pocket, I heaved a sigh. "Mr. Patterson, I know that you're frustrated and angry, but I-we need some more information about your wife. The walls of her heart are abnormally thin-" I started, then he interrupted me.

"Hey, don't blame this on my wife. I heard from your very mouth what happened. I know." He snapped.

  I huffed, getting impatient.

  "Sir, we cant treat her," he went on like he didn't hear me talking, "she was in the best shape of her life. You ask her cardiologist. She had lost 100 pounds. Don't you dare try to hang this on her."

  I opened my mouth once more, "we're through talking." He glared at me hostilely, and walked towards to the hospital.

  I stare into the mass of cars, I felt my eyes began to water, but I blinked, and it wasn't there anymore.

  I want this day to be over with.