Different // Why Don't We

The brain and the Heart //Part 30

"Did I overreact yesterday?", I ask him carefully. Corbyn shakes his head: "No, I understand why you reacted like that, he did ruin the vibe last night." I nodd hesitatingly: "I only made it worse, right?" My eyes are filling with tears. I hate it when I see people sad, or angry. I always try to make them smile again, no matter what it takes. but if I fail so, I feel terrible. 

Last night something inside of me snapped, I felt betrayed. I tried so hard to create a perfect vibe and -with a single snap of Jonah's actions- it got destroyed completely. I blame him, he is wise enough to know it was especially for them. "I ruined it Corbyn. It's all my fault!", I yell, shutting my eyes. It hurts and I gasp for air, "Do you think he will ever forgive me?" Corbyn's eyes widen: "Are you kidding me? Jonah should be the one apologizing, he said some bad things that night. The real question is, Amber: "Are you going to forgive him?"

I am breathing carefully and it asks loads of energy to respond: "I don't know Corbyn... I mean, I- I- ugh... He really hurt my feelings. I am used to it, but I never expected it from him..." Corbyn tries to clarify me: "You have lost all your trust and faith, in a single second?" It sounds horrible... But he is right. I slightly nodd and he wipes away the tears which found a way down to my cheeks: "I can assure you, Bambi, that you'll have it back before you know it." With those words said, he kisses my forehead and tells me to get some sleep. I close my eyes and the last thing I remember is him holding my hand: "Stay with me..." I whisper. 

* Corbyn POV* 

I feel bad for Amber. She is in love with Jonah and she deserves him. Instead of the best party ever and a happy morning the day after, she lays in bed with bruised ribs and a broken heart. As Hanna knows her better, I decide to call her: 

"Hey, Hanna." 

"Hey Corbs, what's up? How is Amber doing?", she asks. I can hear she is a little emotional. 

"She is alright", I answer, "Some bruised ribs but she is okay." I am not really sure about that but I want to comfort her. 

"Are you sure? What about the whole Jonah thingy?", she asks carefully, trying to reduce the tension. 

"She confirmed... I don't know if it is rather good, bad or both actually...", I said slowly.

"Corbyn? What is the real reason you are calling me?", she sounds a little scared. Scared for what is coming. I explain her everything, word for word. I hear Hanna gasp multiple times and I believe Alsace is listening as well, because I can hear another voice saying "no..." from time to time. After my explanation it is quiet for a few minutes. then she answers: "Corbyn... You have to know that she had a rough time in Belgium", she pauzes for a few seconds, "She thought that, living here, would change everything drastically. That she could forget her past and start a new chapter. But, as it is now, nothing actually changed..." 

I am an emotional guy, this situation has me tearing up: "I understand Hanna, and I feel sorry for her. How can I help her? How can we make sure this belongs to the past very soon? It hurts me when I see her like that. You should see her right now. She looks terrible. The only thing she has done after waking up is having pain and sleeping. She didn't even eat or drink anything!" 

I hear Hanna and Alsace holding back their tears: "We have to get them talking again. She has gone through that time to many times... She normally eats although she feels terrible but not eating is really bad... She and Jonah have to talk again." 

I think by myself: "Yeah... But the way Jonah reacted when Zach asked Daniel how Amber was doing, it won't be any time near soon" 

*Amber POV*

Rocks falling from underneath my feet, Jonah's voice laughing and saying terrible things, I am falling, falling down. The rocks are getting closer and closer, I fall faster and faster. 

I find myself screaming and sitting straight up in bed. The thoughts of the nightmare are fading away. They make place for the pain that strucks out of nowhere and I clench my jaws together. I can't stop sobbing, although it only makes me feel more pain. Corbyn runs in, worried sick. He sits down next to me and hugs me very carefully and in a protecting way. He strokes my hair and whispers calming words and makes shushing sounds: "Ssht, Amber. It's okay. I'm here. It's alright. I am here. Just a bad dream. Shh." 

I wrap my arms around him in a seeking way for safety. He holds me tightly until I finally calm down. I look up and our eyes lock, he strokes my hair out of my face and grabs my clammy hands. "Corbyn... It was horrible, I-, rocks were falling underneath my feet..." My breathing goes faster again and he makes the comforting sounds once again: "Amber... Daniel asked me to go and visit them tomorrow, are you coming with me?" 

I nodd my head hesitatingly, although I know I'll be anxious tomorrow.