I hate these nights. They're the worst, the hardest- these nights when I'm painfully aware that I'm alone. It's not bad or wrong, is it? To want someone? To want to be wanted by someone? I'm not crazy for this. I'm young, I know, but everybody at some point has experienced it. Even if it was fleeting.
Even if it wasn't necessarily real.
Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe there's a reason no one wants something more than friendship or a quick f**k. It's supposed to be natural. Something everyone gets a chance to feel. Young love, puppy love, whatever you want to call it. It's the simplest, most common thing in the world. But I've never been a part of it. People say it's dangerous, that I'll just get hurt. Well maybe I want to hurt.
At least there will have been someone around to hurt me.
- an empty heart bed
YOU ARE READING
Big F**king Mood: A New Narrative
Non-FictionA series of thoughts, questions, lists, rants, daydreams, and confessions. TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of depression, anxiety, bullying, and sexual harassment.
