Eye of the storm - Lams fanfic

17

The thunder and lighting continued but Alexander had relaxed into my arms. "I'm so sorry.." he said meekly between sobs.
I was taken aback. "What on earth are you apologising for?"
He started to full on cry. All I could do was comfort him. "I-I I'm broken!" He cried out loud.
"Oh, Alexander. You aren't broken. You've been through a lot." I say and squeeze his shoulder, not to hurt him just to let him know that I'm here for him.

We embraced for a while, as usual. The water had gotten cold and Alexander was shivering. We wrap towels around our shoulders.
I run to get us clothes and we changed into them before making hot chocolates. Alexander was still sniffling with tears pouring down his cheeks. I sit down next to him and wrap my harms around him. "It's okay Alex. You've done nothing wrong." I say softly.
"I-I have though!" He wailed into my chest. "I sent my son into a fist fight which turned into a gun fight. I fucked my wife until she became so ill she died. I've picked fights with everyone and I cheated on Eliza multiple times." I sadden, knowing I was part of his suffering. "I can't take this anymore. I'm useless useless useless!!!" He yells hitting his knee with his fist.
I pull him into a tight hug. "You are not useless! Everyone makes mistakes! I've made plenty of those! I'm the fucking result of rape. You are my best friend!! I will not stand by and watch you hate on yourself. That is all in the past, do you hear me? You have me to look after you." He gripped onto me still crying loudly. I really wanted to ask him. I hesitated though. Is this going to harm him even more. But I had to know. It could help me help him. Eventually I muster up the courage to ask. "Alex.. what happened? Why are you so.. scarred?" He tenses up. I instantly regret asking. Oh god.
"W-When I was 17 a hurricane destroyed my town. Everything was gone. Not many people survived. So may people died. Those who lived had to fight so hard to stay alive. My mother got sick and died. She was my best friend. I'd never had any before you and Lafayette and Hercules." He was trembling and I could hear his sobs. My heat ached for him. No wonder he was so emotionally damaged. All I managed to do was hold him and let him know I was there for him. I was going to be a good friend and help him through this.

But I couldn't help feeling like I wanted us to stay like this forever. I needed to stay like this forever.

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